Today is Ian’s due date. Of course, my body doesn’t seem to like to hang on to babies for a full term, so he’s actually six weeks old today. Since he had time in the NICU, he’s only been home for two weeks, but they’ve been a good two weeks. Sure no one is sleeping especially well, and I can’t seem to remember *anything* for very long, but we’re all together now and figuring out how we’ll function as a family of four.

Ian – one day shy of 5 weeks old

Maya is a great big sister. When Ian cries, she makes sure he has a pacifier, and if she can’t get to him, she tells us about it till one of us gives it to him. She also shares Oddipuddy with him. Hopefully by now I don’t have to explain what a big deal this is (but I will, just in case). Oddipuddy is Maya’s stuffed octopus. That octopus has been Maya’s comfort object since she was maybe eight or nine months old. He still sleeps with her and rides in the car with her and is sought out any time she is distressed. And she shares him with Ian.

Oddipuddy kissing Ian

It remains to be seen how Maya handles it once 1 – Anna is more fully taking care of both kids and 2 – once Ian is more mobile and more interested in her toys and books. As it stands now though, Maya is handling things really well.

Maya kissing Ian

I don’t know how much I’ve gone into this before, but Maya and I didn’t cooperate well breast feeding. There were blisters and bleeding and a resistant baby. By the time she was six weeks old, since the current situation wasn’t making anyone happy, I made the decision to exclusively pump. She did really well on her diet of bottle-fed breast milk, and I powered through pumping for her entire first year (which is not fun).

Ian – One day shy of 5 weeks old

Ian and I, on the other hand, cooperate very well, and holy wow is it easier! He wants to eat at 2am, and no one has to placate him while one of us goes and gets a bottle heated and ready to go. Bonus: we don’t have to clean a bottle once we’re through. It’s fantastic. While I’m unbelievably happy it’s working out this time, it does underscore what I missed out on the first time around. Also, even though I’m a second-time mom, I’m still a newb when it comes to things like working a nursing bra with one hand and breast feeding in public without drawing too much attention to myself.

Ian’s take home outfit

The second kid is both easier and more difficult. We kind of know what to expect and what to worry about (or more importantly, not worry about). We also know that eventually, everyone will be sleeping and reasonably content. On the other hand, Ian is clearly getting less attention than Maya did. Also, just when Maya is hitting her stride on exerting her independence, it’s harder for her exhausted parents to handle discipline requirements consistently and with grace. It’s disheartening to feel like you’re kind of failing both kids to a certain degree.

Squishy face

Aunt Darci and cousin AP visited for a couple days last week and Darci took some photos. As usual, they are very cute. Ian’s take-home outfit was a little bow tie and cardigan affair. It would have swallowed him whole when he was first born, but he bulked up quite a bit in the weeks before these photos were taken. By now, it’s nearly too small.

After four long weeks in the NICU, Ian is finally home!

Ian, 4 weeks old

He was born on December 18th at 6:24 in the morning. He weighed 5 pounds 7 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. I was induced when he was 34 weeks gestational age because my water had broken a few days prior.

Ian, a few hours old.

Ian’s NICU stay was of the “feeder-grower” variety. He never needed any breathing assistance. His weight started out good and he consistently gained well while he was there. Where we ran into trouble was his “breath-suck-swallow” coordination. He wasn’t quite neurologically mature enough to manage eating without choking himself, and so he had an NG tube for a period of time. Even when taking a bottle, he had to be carefully paced. Interestingly, even from the very beginning, he did a good job breast feeding. The only issue there seemed to be stamina; he’d get tired before he got full.

Ian, 1 day old

The NICU was a hard place to be. There was a baby there who was so premature, he didn’t even weigh two pounds at birth. Another baby had to be on methadone. Still other babies had to be weaned from the various pain killers they had been given to deal with surgeries and whatnot. In relative terms, we really had no room to complain. And yet I think I speak for both of us when I say there is a sense of loss. While we were at that NICU multiple times a day every day he was there, we still feel like we’ve missed out on nearly a month of Ian’s life. Strangers took care of our baby. We had to pass a gatekeeper to visit him. There were hours each day when we weren’t allowed access at all.

Ian, 1 day old

Maya was able to visit Ian once a week, and only for 15 minutes. She thought the three-minute scrub-in was lots of fun. The first time she saw Ian, she very gently touched his hair and gave him a kiss, but I don’t think her new status as a big sister really sunk in. When we got home, she pointed at my pudgy postpartum belly and said, “baby?” Hopefully now that he’s home, she will start to understand that her brother is here.

Ian, 1 week old

It didn’t occur to us to time Maya’s visits such that she’d be able to see Ian on Christmas day, so our family holiday photo actually occurred on the 28th.

Family Xmas, 2014

At any rate, Ian is home now, and we couldn’t be happier. Our little family of four is finally all together under one roof. The jury’s out on whether Maya is okay with this arrangement.