I meant to write this post over the weekend, but I just couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. Even today, I’m having trouble. Trying to convert the stew of amazement, fear, anxiety, anger, uncertainty, etc. simmering in my head into a set of words that makes sense has seemed impossible. This post title implies a humor that I’m having trouble hanging onto.

With the increase in COVID-19 cases, we’ve been working toward further decreasing our time going out and about even for basic errands. I made a quick run early last week to pick up Ian’s new glasses from the eye doctor. They were doing curbside pick-up only. When I pulled into the parking lot, I called the folks inside and requested his glasses. I hung up the phone, rolled down my window, and sanitized my hands (after all, I don’t want to make them sick either). An employee came out and with gloved hands, handed me the bag holding Ian’s glasses. With my head turned slightly away from her, I smiled and thanked her, and that was that.

Ian, in his new purple glasses, has befriended a slug.

Ever since Maya got her big kid glasses last year, Ian has been wanting to ditch the rubber-like, strapped glasses that he wears in favor of his own big-kid glasses. Sean has helped both kids choose glasses frames, and he’s really good at it. Ian has some really cute dark purple frames that he absolutely loves.

Sean and I had started back to work on the 23rd, and so we told the kids they were starting back to school. During our spring break week, Sean had bought Ian a bunch of kindergarten workbooks and a bunch of 1st and 2nd grade books for Maya. We’re still waiting for a few of them to ship, but for the most part, the kids have enough variety to keep them occupied for small stretches of time. Sean and I kind of trade off throughout the day so we can each work for a good chunk of time in relative peace. I start my workday now at 6a to try and get a jump on things. We try to get the kids to work on some worksheets, do a few online lessons from Scholastic. For Maya, we try to get her to do a bit of writing work and some book reading.

Maya is working hard.

We’ve had a really loose art period a couple times. Other times, I’ll just let them spend an hour dorking around in the back yard. Maya has been big into bug catching lately. We got a net and a little bug house for her to capture them and observe them. We generally release the creatures at the end of the day, even though she makes sure to provide them with food and water.

On Tuesday the 24th, Austin and Travis County were issued a shelter in place order (they called it Stay at Home – Work Safe) through at least April 13th. Given that we had already ratcheted down our out-and-about activities, it meant very little to us. AISD, our school district, extended their closure to coincide. We start distance learning next week, whatever that winds up meaning for a first grader.

Ian likes doing school like his sister, but I think the novelty wears of faster for him.

We took the step of withdrawing Ian from preschool. There are essential employees who must have their children at day care, so I understand why they’ve chosen to remain open. For us, it doesn’t make sense though. We already have Maya home; there is no point in sending Ian to school. Our gut feeling is that AISD will not resume this school year, and we had always planned to send them kids to a different childcare place over the summer, since Maya is now too old to go to Ian’s school. With any luck, maybe we’ll get to regret our choice if Maya winds up getting to go back to school in May.

On Wednesday, the kids had their piano and guitar lessons via Zoom. Other than the sound quality being pretty terrible, it worked out well enough. Earlier in the day, Maya had gotten to FaceTime with her 1st grade teacher, and she seemed to enjoy that also. On Saturday, the kids each had group music lessons via Zoom too. It was hard to wrangle Maya, as usual, but I suspect it was good for the kids to see faces other than ours for a change.

Maya, catching bugs in the yard.

Grocery shopping has been … strange. Sean had gone once earlier in the week and found very little. Some of our basic supplies were starting to dwindle, and while we weren’t yet worried, we were certainly casting around for reliable solutions. We formulated a plan. Sean would do a round on Sunday morning at HEB, Target, and Costco, and from then on we would try to curbside as many of our groceries as possible (again, to limit exposure). We hit the jackpot. We got flour, baking soda, eggs. We even scored paper towels and TP. It’s astonishing how relieved all that made me feel.

The bug house.

After his very successful run, we set up a curbside pickup at HEB – our first ever. We booked it on Sunday and the earliest pickup we could get was April 12th. It isn’t even our usual HEB (which had no pickup times available). We did a whole lotta guessing about the kinds of stuff we’d need in two weeks, and we’ll see how much of it is actually available on that day.

Over the weekend, the United States took top ranking in quantity of COVID-19 cases. I screen captured a couple sources from yesterday evening. By one source, the United States had 142,402 confirmed cases and 2,497 deaths at that time. More locally, Travis county had reported 200 confirmed cases and 1 death as of Sunday evening. Poor New York City is drowning – about half of the US’s cases are in New York. Will they have enough ventilators when things worsen? Will the curve finally flatten? Much of my telecom job’s work has all but ceased in the NYC area due to quarantining and site access restrictions.

Our kids finally kind of lost it on Saturday. They’ve been remarkably resilient through this whole time. Disney World postponed? Ok, they understand. Can’t go back to school? Cool, we’ll do work at home with Mom and Dad. Can’t go to the playground? Fine, we’ll invent a playground oasis for birds in the back yard. But I think finally after two weeks, whether they really understand or not, they’ve had enough. Maya was emotionally fragile all weekend. There were crying fits and amplified sadness over the mildest of insults or injuries. Ian has been begging to play with some of his friends and has repeatedly asked me for the past couple days when coronavirus is going to be over. They’ve even incorporated coronavirus as a weapon in some of their good guy / bad guy games.

All in all, we’re doing well enough though. Sean’s and my work for our jobs is kind of getting done. The kids are sort of maintaining a bit of an education. They’re getting too much screen time, and none of us are getting enough activity, but we’re working to adapt. One bright spot: we appear to be sheltering a Bewick’s Wren family in our back yard. Years ago now, Maya painted and glued together a little birdhouse, and we hung it in our back yard not really expecting much to come of it. Earlier in the spring, we watched the tiny little wrens bring all manner of grassy material into the house. This past week or so, we’ve watched them over and over and over again flying up to the house with bugs and worms clutched in their beaks. We don’t want to disturb them, so we haven’t peeked in and checked, but we’re assuming they have hungry babies in there. It’s a small thing, I realize, but that and the prospect of Easter in a couple weeks seem to be helping boost the kids’ spirits during such an indescribably strange time.

I am, by nature, a skeptic. I have commented to Sean before that I’ll miss the boat on preparing for a disaster because my first reaction is always skepticism. When the first case of coronavirus was reported in the United States back in January, I didn’t give it much weight. It came from folks traveling. It *seemed* to be contained. I felt obliquely sad about things that were happening in other parts of the world, but I wasn’t yet worried about my own family and friends.

At one point, seemingly long ago now, one of our worries had been whether the bluebonnets would last till we got back from Florida.

It started its rapid spread throughout the country, and I started to wonder if our spring break travel plans would be affected. Then in early March, I started to worry that we were being irresponsible for considering traveling at all. Our intention had been to take the kids to Disney World for the very first time. Sean lives and breathes Disney; he had been planning this trip for months, waking early in the morning to get his preferred meal reservations and fast pass times, making spreadsheets for scheduling. He’d been finding fun ways for the kids to experience this place that he so totally loves: autograph books, laniards and pins for trading, special t-shirts and shoes.

Ian, age 5.

Then, on March 6th, our city made the unprecedented decision to cancel the SXSW festival. Hundreds of thousands of people would now *not* be congregating and possibly spreading an as-yet-not-well-understood disease. They would also not be dropping billions of dollars in local clubs, bars, restaurants, hotels, etc. I never thought it would happen. How cynical am I that it caught me off guard that human health would be chosen over the almighty dollar? That’s the day the magnitude of the crisis sunk in for me.

Maya, age 7. Note the lack of teeth.

My brain at that point was split. We were still going to go to Disney for our trip of a lifetime (largely because our trip insurance didn’t cover pandemics). We were so prepared for the trip and the kids were so, SO excited. Sheesh, Maya had even managed to extract all THREE of her loose teeth before we left so I wouldn’t have to keep track of them at Disney World. But half of me was wishing they’d close the parks so we could do the responsible thing and stay the fuck home. We were supposed to leave on Saturday, the 14th. On Thursday the 12th, they announced park closure. Very early in the morning on the 13th, the first case of coronavirus was reported in Austin. Only slightly less early on the 13th, they announced that Maya’s school was closing a day early for spring break.

We let ourselves feel disappointment on Thursday and maybe a little Friday morning. But I think Sean and I were both just relieved. He spent most of his Friday rescheduling the Disney trip. After many hours on hold, that was largely dealt with. The kids were a little mopey for a bit, but we had already been explaining about coronavirus and how diseases are spread and the extra precautions we were taking, so I’m not sure they were even too surprised. At least so far, they’ve handled the whole thing with grace.

A clue, Watson.

Sean was smart. Because we had been planning on being gone for a week, we had cleared our refrigerator of most of the produce and fresh foods, so we really had nothing much to feed our family of four for the week we were now largely going to be staying in the house. He had gone to Costco earlier in the week on a normal restock run and had seen the bare shelves and had been able to purchase very little. At the time, we assumed we’d just have to deal with it once we were back from our trip. Now, with our fridge bare and knowing there was a coronavirus case in Austin that would set off fresh new alarm bells, he woke early on Friday the 13th, to get our normal run of groceries. He said it wasn’t bad when he got there at 7a, but by the time he left, it was apparently a madhouse. And it has stayed that way ever since.

Over the coming days, we watched as the NBA cancelled everything, Broadway theaters shut down, international travel was restricted, and a national state of emergency was declared. More locally, Maya’s school closure has extended through early April, the restaurants shifted to carry-out and delivery only, the movie theaters closed. The infection count is rising, the stock market is tumbling. Predictions run the gamut from bleak to downright scary. It’s a weird time we’re living in.

My first thought after the Disney cancellation, had been to try and find something unpopulated and outdoors to do for a few days instead. Unfortunately, Maya had gotten vomity sick on Saturday. She sprouted a low-grade fever that was gone within a day, and since then she’s had a lingering cough. If we had had any thoughts of salvaging spring break by planning a camping trip or some other equally people-avoiding endeavor, they were abandoned with her illness.

Luckily, our house is filled to the brim with silly

We’ve been trying to keep busy though. On Sunday, we dressed in some of our new Disney shirts and took the kids out for our annual bluebonnet photos. Other than the kids freaking out over bees (I had to piggyback our 65 lb daughter to our photo spot), it was nice enough. There were no other people out and the weather was beautiful.

Our back yard, which has been neglected ever since I became pregnant with Maya, is finally seeing some slow but steady action. I’m clearing weeds, adding dirt back where it has eroded away over the years, laying mulch. The kids have had fun choosing and planting a few plants, and we’ve started seeds for a few food crops and a few Texas native shade plants that I’m hoping will survive the tough conditions in our back yard. I also cleaned out their semi-neglected sandbox and Ian has spent hours installing sticks, shells, rocks, leaves, and flowers to make a special place for birds that he has dubbed Bird Land.

Getting ready to make cookies

Maya’s cough had finally died down enough that on Tuesday, the kids and I made roll-and-cut cookies. The kids LOVE using their vast collection of cutters and decorating the cookies with colorful icing. They both wound up having to wash their hands multiple times throughout the process for infractions such as coughing and fiddling with nostrils.

We had bought everyone fun Disney shirts for St Patrick’s since we were originally going to be celebrating in the House of Mouse. We even got some for Lolli and Pop, who had planned to be there with us for a few days. Once our trip fell apart, Sean had the foresight to send their shirts to them quickly enough that they’d get them in time. And they sent us a photo (and later on, a line dance video) of them in their St Pat’s shirts.

Lolli and Pop!

Finally yesterday, we all got out of the house for a hike. Sean has been the only one going out and purchasing needed items. He is very careful and doesn’t get easily stressed out. He takes hand sanitizer with him. So far, it has been ok. But the weather is (allegedly) supposed to turn rainy (we’ve been hearing that story all damn week), so we took our chances and all went on a roughly 2.5 mile hike on the Turkey Creek Trail, which is only about a 20-minute drive away from us. When we told them we were going, the kids whined about being too tired to go on a hike, but once they were there, it was clear they were excited to be out and doing something different. It was 80 degrees and overcast – perfect hiking weather. We saw lots of other people and their dogs, but with gentle reminders to the kids to keep their hands to theirselves, it seemed to be ok. Ian was sad he couldn’t pet all the dogs, but we thought it best if he avoided it.

Toward the end of the Turkey Creek trail

Sean’s job has mandated that he work from home. I have, of course, worked from home for nearly ten years now. Maya and Ian will both be home for AT LEAST the next couple weeks. We are not hiring a parade of sitters to come into the house (that seems counter-productive to all the social distancing measures our city, state, and country have taken). This week has been semi-manageable since we had taken the spring break week off. For the couple weeks following, we are trying to work out a schedule where we can both get our work done but still keep the kids occupied and possibly even slightly educated. Both of us expect the closure to go on longer.

One source says the coronavirus case count in Austin is now 41. That’s just shy of double what it was posted as yesterday. We are discussing limiting our errands even further than we already have. Soon enough, those limits may become mandates. Until then, we’ll use our best judgement and try not to get on each other’s nerves … too much.

During December, whilst browsing the time-suck known as Facebook, I noticed our friend Holly posting about her “experiences not stuff” Christmas. It’s a beautiful idea, one that I wish we could figure out how to get around to. But what really caught my eye was that one of her family’s experiences was going to be visiting a nearby elephant preserve. What? I didn’t know we had a nearby elephant preserve. Then once they went, she posted photos. If I wasn’t already itching to go, those photos sealed the deal.

Maya and Ian snuggling Tai the elephant

I didn’t make the decision right away, but maybe a week before my birthday in February, I happened to notice that the weather the following weekend was going to be great – the kind of 70-degree winter weekend that makes me like living in Texas. I got the impression that no one else in the house had really given much thought to it, so I just did what I wanted and let everyone know. I reserved a visit time at Enchanted Rock State Natural Area. I booked a night at a hotel in Fredericksburg that had a heated outdoor pool and a slide for the kids to enjoy. And I purchased our family a slot to experience the elephants at The Preserve.

We had group music classes that morning, and because I asked her so nicely and it was my birthday weekend, Maya tried extra hard to behave in her classes (it’s a challenge). After that, we hastily took music things into the house and brought trip things out to the car and set off to Enchanted Rock.

Watching fairy shrimp at Enchanted Rock

The kids, who are highly interested in the magical properties of things (wands, beans, confetti, etc) quizzed me at length about what exactly made this rock so enchanted. The magic is that we made it to the damn top without anyone dying. Or maybe the real magic is that we made it back down again with only one skinned knee (Maya). Enchanted Rock is a giant granite dome poking out of the Texas hill country. The hike up was a bit tough on us two pudgy office types, but we did it. The kids, other than minor (and easily ignored) complaining did great. We made it to the top and had a little snack and a drink of water and watched the fairy shrimp dart around in the seasonal pools left in hollows in the granite. Maya brought her camera along and snapped away every few feet all the way up. Once we stopped hiking, it was a bit chilly in the breeze, but the day was gorgeous.

We headed into Fredericksburg after that, checked into our hotel, and wandered into town for a walk and some dinner. We stopped by a candy shop for the kids. We visited the Fredericksburg Winery for the grown-ups. And after an unremarkable dinner, we headed back to the hotel to suit up for a swim. The water was very nice, as long as you stayed in it. Otherwise, the night was pretty brisk. The kids – especially Maya who I’m not sure even feels the cold before hypothermia sets in – climbed out of the pool and went down the slide over and over again. It was so, so much fun.

Move over Rockettes

The next morning, we had an excellent breakfast taco and chocolate muffin breakfast before heading out to meet the elephants. Five Asian elephants paraded down, trunk-to-tail, to where we were sitting. They were beautiful and so full of character. We learned their names and unique features. Rosie, Tai, Kitty, Dixie, and Becky – yes, all female – lined up and showed us what they could do. Tai made lots of racket whacking her trunk against building’s cross-beam. Rosie did lots of honking and trumpeting. All of them raised their trunks and feet and waggled their heads.

It was Becky’s turn to get a bath that day, so we all took turns giving her tough hide and wiry hair a good scrubbing. Ian was in love. I’m pretty sure he would have just laid down on her and hugged her if we had let him. Maya was having fun taking gobs of photos. She took a delightful one of an elephant’s rear end, of which she was very proud (not included below – you’re welcome).

Giving Becky a bath

We got to snuggle up to Tai to have our photos taken. Surprising no one, we had to remind the kids that this was a living creature who could squash them beneath one foot if they kept running under her trunk where she couldn’t keep an eye on them.

We got to watch the elephants’ feet get a bit of a trimming. Apparently in the wild, an elephant’s weight and general walking about are enough to keep the dead skin and build-up cleaned from their feet. But not at The Preserve. There the elephant’s don’t have to work too hard to find their next meal or drink of water, so their feet need to be “manicured” every so often to keep them healthy.

The elephants!

The elephants were wonderful. We got to see them paint, work a hula hoop, pick up a person. We got to watch as they ate carrots. Their mouths are so strange to look at in action. At the end, much to the kids’ delight, they called all the birthday people to the front and the elephants serenaded us with their own version of happy birthday.

We lined up for our family photo with all five of those glorious elephants before buying a few souvenirs and hopping in the car to head home. I suspect it will make very little difference, but I hope that I showed the kids that experiences do make really fantastic gifts. We all had a really nice time. And I certainly don’t need any more stuff.

The same day Lolli and Pop left to head back home from their Thanksgiving visit, we went to pick out our Christmas tree. It was sweaty warm outside, but that did nothing to dampen the kids’ spirits. Maya straight up insisted that we get a 9-foot tree this year. Our house is plenty tall enough for it, and we managed to get it home tied to the roof of the Prius, so I guess it worked out okay.

Yeah, this is often appropriate winter attire for the Austin climate.

We managed to cram Sean’s birthday in a few days later. We had dinner at Jack Allen’s Kitchen, which wound up being a pretty good option for both happy parents and appeased kids. Then we came home and had birthday cake.

Here’s the thing. Everything from late October through early January happens in a catch-as-catch-can fashion. I don’t remember when I baked Sean’s cake, but I’m sure I had to shoe-horn it in between other activities (tree decorating, Ian birthday prep, sleeping). I remember carefully putting the lid on the cake container, verifying ahead of time there was space for it, and then … nearly dropping the damned thing on my way to the refrigerator. Alas, everything looked fine, so I went about my business feeling happy that I had dodged that particular bullet because I wasn’t sure I had it in me to make another cake.

At least the cake *tasted* good.

Fast-forward to the evening of Sean’s birthday. I brought out the cake and lifted the lid and could do nothing but laugh. The butter-rich icing had been pretty soft when I iced the cake. My near-cake-death episode caused the top layer to slide a bit sideways from the bottom layer. And then the buttery icing hardened up once it was cooled in the fridge. Sean’s cake resembled some sort of modern architecture, except badly frosted. Anyway, it tasted good.

Ian had his Christmas program at school. He had been singing all the songs for what felt like weeks, and so it was no surprise that he sang along like a boss during his program.

Somebody enjoyed his birthday party!

Ian had been asking to go to Catch Air for his birthday since Maya’s birthday party there last year. Its name has changed to Playmazing, but otherwise it’s the same place he has always loved (or at least it was this past December). We were sweating it a little. We sent his paper invitations to school right after Thanksgiving. By the week or so before his party, we had only a couple or three responses, so we sent a second note to school basically begging people to go. We managed to work ourselves into one of the largest party rooms they have, and seating was still tight. Thank you parents for bringing your kids to Ian’s birthday even though the holidays are SO BUSY!

Santa!

We took the kids to the fancy outdoor mall to chat with Santa. The kids both made Christmas lists to leave with him. Maya’s list reflected her love of vehicles … ALL THE VEHICLES … airplane, submarine, school bus, compost truck – you name it! Ian decided to shoot his shot, reality be damned. He dictated and I typed; all ideas on that list were 100% his own. Here’s a sample: magic wand that works, wings that can really fly, baby chick that’s in a cage so it doesn’t fly away, remote control dump truck, wind-up chick – three of them, snow globe – princesses. See what I mean?

Hand-sewn ornaments.

Maya has been a sewing fiend throughout 2019 and decided that she’d like to sew felt Christmas ornaments for gifts this year. She sewed decorations onto the felt, and then stitched together and stuffed the ornament body. I had planned to have Ian do something similar but with hot glue instead, but he insisted on trying to sew. We compromised. We glued on his decorations, but he sewed the front and back of the ornaments together. Honestly, he did pretty well, though he runs out of interest faster than Maya does.

Ian and his bicycle.

We managed to have a relaxed family Christmas in Austin before the travel craziness. We ran out of time to make Santa cookies and I didn’t realize the kids would want to leave carrots for the reindeer, so we wound up leaving a cookie-cuttered brownie and some broccoli. Maya felt bad and left Santa an apology note … which Santa responded to! The kids were thrilled.

The big deal gifts this year were: a bike for Ian (which he’s been wanting since Maya’s really started riding hers this summer) and a digital camera for our photo-crazy daughter. Because it’s Texas and hardly ever really cold, we’ve been able to take Ian out on his bike a few times, and while he’s still rocking the training wheels, he does seem very proud to ride it. Maya is a prolific photographer. There are few things that escape her interest when a camera is in her hand.

There we are.

Christmas travel was, as I recall, uneventful this year. In Missouri, we got to see all our many, many cousins and most of their parents (poor Aunt Katie was sick). As usual, we made sure we took the kids to see Great Grandma. We went to the Stueve family Christmas, where I’m pretty sure the kids had a dinner of soda, chips, and various desserts. We had a day that was warm enough that the kids got to go play at the creek.

Merry Christmas!

We went to Aunt Darci, Uncle Will, AP, and Steele’s house in northern Virginia this year for the Woods family Christmas this year. The kids got to play Mario Cart with their cousins, ride the Metro into DC, and see a bit of the Natural History museum. They had fun spotting the Washington Monument both when our flight landed and as we were traveling around. Maya tried to wear out the button on her new digital camera, so much was she happily snap-snap-snapping away.

Oreo cookie “gingerbread” house. Constructed in January, after the hubbub had died down.

Back in Austin, we let the kids stay up late enough to ring in the new year on the 31st. And since I never managed to work it in throughout the holidays, they had fun putting together a pre-packaged Oreo cookie house a few days later. We survived the holidays!