Having a birthday so close to Christmas is tough. We work really hard to make sure Ian’s celebration is separate, but I’m not sure it always works. Since his sister had a party and invited her classmates, Ian wanted a party too. In hopes of having a few people who could actually attend, we celebrated a week early.

Our big 3 year old!

Ian is a lover of all things furry. It can be interesting playing in the front yard sometimes because he wants to hug all the dogs that walk past the house. There’s a big black cat at Lolli and Pop’s house named Baa-baa that will tolerate his hugs. We recently watched some friends’ guinea pigs while they were on vacation, and yup, they got hugs too. So, this year for Ian’s birthday, we hired a mobile petting zoo to come to the house.

It was great! We have a big open living room with a tile floor, so they just set up inside. These were little animals: chicks, rabbits, turtles, hedgehogs, a lizard of some kind – no big farm animals hanging out by the couch. The petting zoo people had little stools for the kids to sit on, little mats for them to hold so the animals’ claws didn’t bother them, hand sanitizer for when they were done.

Bunny!

Ian loved it. Some of the animals made him a little nervous, I think, but especially if they had fur, he was petting and snuggling away.

We talked a lot about what kind of cake Ian might like. It’s sort of difficult with our kids because neither of them care too much for icing. In the end, after a month-long insistence that he have “rainbow cake,” I borrowed a trick from a friend of mine and baked one. Six separate layers, each a different color. It was beautiful. And delicious. Alas, there was icing, but Ian ate some of it anyway, as long as I dug the cake out from between the icing layers.

Ogres have layers.

About the love of furry creatures … Since we had lost Pumpkin earlier in the year, Maya’s Hank kitty was feeling a little lonely. We figured Ian might enjoy a cat of his own and Hank might like to have a friend. At the end of November, we went to Austin Pets Alive and adopted a 12-week-old, solid black female kitten.

Ian was so happy. He snuggled her and petted her and … SHE LOVED IT. She followed him around. It was so cute! Ian means well, but he’s three. His affection can be a little rough, but nope, the cat puts up with it (you know, to a point).

Just a boy and his kitten

The best part about Ian and his kitten though happened when Sean explained to him that he needed to give his new pet a name. Ian thoughtfully considered it for a moment before telling Sean, “She likes N, O, and … X!” Nox. He named his solid black kitten Nox. This tweaked something in the back of Sean’s and my brains and we looked it up. Nox is Latin for “night.” According to Wikipedia, Nox is also the Roman goddess of night.

The cats actually got along with each other almost immediately. We tried keeping Nox in a separate room for a while so we could introduce them slowly. Hank stood at the door whining to be let in. Nox tried to climb the door, who knows to what end. We finally gave up and let Hank in to see her, and after some careful sniffing, they decided to be friends. It was the easiest cat introduction we’ve ever done, and we’ve had a few.

About the love of rainbows … Ian is a very sweet and kind boy. He adores his older sister. He loves to play with tiny things that he can collect into containers. He loves music and will sing, sing, sing when he thinks no one is listening. He builds things with Legos. He pretends he’s a doctor and gives us shots. He also takes care of baby dolls and cooks in the kids’ play kitchen. “There are no [boy/girl] toys; there are just toys,” is a common refrain in our house when someone brings home some nonsense from school or the park or a play date. For whatever reason, we’ve never thought to apply the same concept to their clothes.

So pink! So furry!

Ian will tell you his two favorite colors are pink and rainbow. His guys, a stuffed fox named Mulder and a soft monkey named Scully, drive rainbow cars and wear rainbow clothes and eat rainbow food. His favorite color to wear is pink. Bonus points if there are checkers or sparkles as well.

One day a long time ago now, I told Maya not to give Ian a skirt she had outgrown because most boys don’t wear them. She wanted to know why. And finally I stopped to think about it. There’s really no rational reason. (So far, Ian doesn’t care too much about skirts, but he LOVES tutus.)

At first, we thought Ian’s preferences were driven by a desire to emulate his sister, and I think because of this, we discouraged it at first. It didn’t take long though to realize that Ian prefers more pink in his wardrobe than Maya ever did. This past fall, even though we had bought Ian his own cool-weather stuff (and I swear, I tried to find bright colors and things he’d enjoy), he picked through Maya’s old clothes that we had been gathering up for donation and assembled his own winter wardrobe.

Wearing what he wants makes him so happy, and it’s such a simple and seemingly harmless way for him to express himself and to exert a little control over his life. I was worried that he’d catch crap for it, but so far people have been pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. Most parents we’ve chatted with acknowledge how boring boys’ clothes are – all dark, neutral hues, no sparkles, no sequins. At our house, it’s completely normal. Maya is thrilled when she can pass down something of hers to Ian that she knows he’ll love.

Not everyone in the world is on board, of course. Sean was once asked by a grocery store cashier if Ian had two daddies. Honestly that’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard; no gay couple I know would dream of letting Ian leave the house in the pattern and color clashing get-ups he devises.

There’s no denying that it’s a man’s world in so many ways. We strive to make sure Maya knows she’s intelligent and capable and that she can be interested in whatever she chooses. But in this one thing, she has it easier. She prefers blue and green and she sports a very short haircut, and people to have realized that that’s perfectly fine, for the most part.

I am sure the hard times are coming for Ian though. One day, he’ll come home from school upset because he got picked on. He’ll tell us he wants “boy clothes” and doesn’t want to paint his nails any more. There’s a part of me that wants to keep him from getting made fun of, to ease his way in this world. (There’s a part of me that’s angry already about the narrow-minded torment he’s likely to encounter.) But more than any of that, I want him to be who he wants to be and to know that he has our support. What I really want of course is for the rest of the world to catch up and not give a little boy abuse for something as ridiculous as the color of clothes he prefers, but since that seems unlikely, support is what he will have.  And I will work very hard to temper my “fuck you” attitude when it comes to dealing with other people’s misguided assumptions about my kid. Probably.

Party time

At any rate, our pretty boy had a great birthday. Some of his friends came and petted animals with him. Illnesses and proximity to the holidays kept attendance light, but there were enough people for it to feel like a celebration. He had his rainbow cake and his “coca dot” decorations. He has a furry kitty to love and snuggle. And his smart friend Ruby picked out a fuzzy pink scarf like thing that Ian keeps hung on his bed, he likes it so much.

On Ian’s actual birthday, he chose California Pizza Kitchen for dinner. He’s a very particular eater, and one of the things we’ve discovered he will reliably eat is pepperoni pizza. He helped me bake some box-mix brownies for his birthday cake (after Maya’s cake, Sean’s cake, and Ian’s rainbow cake, I was pretty much all baked out at this point).

Birthday ice cream

Included in the photos below is Sean’s birthday cake as well. His birthday falls exactly halfway between Maya’s and Ian’s, and we make an effort to remember him too. This year, I gave Maya a shot at decorating Dad’s cake. I loaded up some orange icing into a piping bag and let her have at it. She’s a fiend for sprinkles, so she doused his cake in those as well. It was quite a creation, made with love and lots of sugar.

Back in November, Maya not so quietly turned 5. She was still deep in the throes of Moana love and asked me to bake her a “Te Fiti” cake. At the time, she also specified that it have chocolate icing and be lime flavored (since limes are green, like Te Fiti). Alas, the reality was a bit different, not that it mattered to her once she saw her cake.

Birthday balloons!

We also arranged for Maya to have her party with Emler Swim School, the same swimming pool company that she and Ian take their lessons with (albeit not at their “home” pool). The pool is indoors! And not very deep! And available!

We did worry a bit about the party though. Maya is a sweet, bright kid with a silly sense of humor, but we regularly are told that she doesn’t interact with her peers. For the longest time, when we asked her to tell us about her friends and their names and whatnot, we were met with either silence or a pouty, “I’m too tired to talk about that.”

I gamely sent out the evite to her class and hoped it would all work out. The days ticked by and we had so few responses. It was hard not to feel rejected on her behalf. In desperation, I sent out a “friendly reminder” maybe a week and a half or two before her birthday, and suddenly the floodgates opened. We went from “I hope Maya isn’t too disappointed” to “holy shit, should I bake a second cake?”

Moana, age 5

The cake provided its own set of challenges. I was tricked by YouTube. I wanted to make Maya a green cake that was wildly bedecked with a variety of colorful flowers. After a few YouTube videos showing me how to pipe buttercream flowers, I thought it seemed easy enough. All I’d need were a few supplies and some practice.

I bought the needed piping tips, made some icing, and took my first crack. It was a disaster. There were colorful blobs of … something. None of them really even hinted at looking like flowers. One really good trick I learned though was to pipe the flowers onto little pieces of parchment paper and then to freeze them. Once the flowers are frozen, you can peel the parchment off and stick the ones that don’t look terrible onto your cake.

I had made a delicious but very soft buttercream, so I thought maybe that softness was the trouble. I made a more sugar-dense icing. My resulting piped flowers were no better. I tried store-bought icing. Same. Chilling my icing a bit first. Same. Drinking heavily while piping. SAME!

Te Fiti cake

In desperation, I bought some Russian piping tips, which rely less on the skill of the ersatz cake decorator. The flowers I produced with those weren’t great, but at least they were recognizable as flowers. I tucked them into a bunch of star tip-applied green icing. It was definitely not what I had envisioned, but Maya seemed sufficiently wowed, so I’m going to call it a win.

Lolli and Pop arrived the Friday just before Maya’s birthday. She was so excited about having company. She got to build cars on the iPad with Lolli and tend to the plants and animals in Lolli’s Country Life Meadow game. She played endless hide-and-seek with Pop.

Maya on her “blue like the ocean” bicycle

A couple weeks before her birthday, we took Maya out to buy her big birthday present: a bicycle! She chose one that was “blue like the ocean” and proceeded to try to ride it around in the store. On birthday weekend, she went to the park with Sean, Ian, and Pop and practiced with her bike. We still have training wheels on it for now, but even so, her favorite thing is to go as fast as she can, and it’s a little nerve-wracking to watch. As with so many things, I expect she’ll want her training wheels off before I do.

Saturday night, to celebrate her “actual” birthday, we all met up with Anna, their former nanny and current “date night” babysitter, at Pappadeaux so Maya could have fried seafood. It worked out wonderfully! Maya got to pet a lobster, eat a mountain of fried shrimp, and receive a SLAB of birthday cake from the restaurant (which she didn’t pester our waiter about at all #sarcasm). Ian got to crawl around on the floor under our table, surfacing now and then for a bit of his chicken. The rest of us were able to enjoy a relatively peaceful and delicious seafood dinner.

Caution – 5-year-old swimming

On Sunday, the day of the big pool party, I was baking and decorating right up to the end. In a fizz, we loaded cake, cupcakes, snacks, drinks, and decorations, and I spent the drive over trying to figure out how to get everything set up in the allotted 15 minutes. I needn’t have worried. The folks at Emler had half our stuff set up before we even managed to carry everything in. Did we go overboard when we brought the bluetooth speaker along so the Moana soundtrack could play during the party? Maybe, but I regret nothing.

Maya had a great time! The pool was teeming with the pre-K crowd and some adventurous parents. Lolli and Pop took care of Maya and Ian in the pool while Sean and I made sure the party moved along smoothly. Maya made the rounds playing with other kids (!!!) and Ian surprised us all by willingly jumping into the pool again and again.

Maya’s school friends, Anna, and both sets of her grandparents were exceedingly generous, so she was awash in gifts throughout the weekend. Thanks go to Sean’s parents for keeping the kids entertained all weekend while we did party prep.

Presents!

Five year old Maya is tall and lanky. People are regularly surprised when we tell them her age, believing her to be older. She loves the Moana movie, particularly Te Fiti. She is currently fascinated with the different makes of cars and makes a game of finding different ones on her way to and from school (her favorite is Audi, because of the circles that make up its symbol). Other interests she has cycled through are bugs, space/planets/etc, and birds. She still loves to collect rocks and acorns. She is still playing piano and is just starting to use her left hand as well. She hates the smell of fire/smoke. Her birthday candles caused her some distress this year. Her independent streak has widened, since she’s five now. She now regularly talks about a few of the kids at school, actually mentioning them by name. I have asked her recently what kinds of things she likes, and she tells me that she does still like bugs, but she kind of likes cars more.

School pictures for preschoolers, for whatever reason, seemed ridiculous to me last year. And then we got the photos and they were pretty good. So much so that I was eagerly anticipating them this year. Time for photos came and went. I asked about them at the office and was assured they would happen. More time passed, and I had basically given up. Then one shiny Monday in early November, I happened to see a flyer announcing that they would be having school photos the following day.

Maya – age almost 5, Ian – age almost 3

I was so annoyed. Sean had been gone for the better part of a week, and I was frazzled. And here was yet another decision that had to be made quickly. I was in full on “get shit done” mode. I got clothes washed. I laid out outfits. I thought through all the questions I needed to verify with the school. I never actually *asked* the kids or Sean what they thought about it all.

Needless to say, everyone’s clothes changed to suit their own preferences. In a mad scramble and with an unclear understanding of how sibling photos were getting done, we sent them off to school. When I went to pick them up that afternoon, I got to look at the photos, and to my astonishment, they were great! Maya actually smiled instead of making any of her usual repertoire of goofy faces. The kids posed well together. Ian’s photos actually got done at the same time. It worked out perfectly.

Maya’s love of the Moana movie was still going strong in October (and still is today). Moana shows strength of character, nimble thinking, and an ability to solve her own problems. But Moana is not who Maya loves best. Maya loves Te Fiti. She could watch the last few minutes of the movie again and again. Seeing Te Fiti’s heart restored and watching the goddess burst into greenery and flowers is her favorite part of that movie. Te Fiti is who Maya decided she wanted to be for Halloween. You know what they don’t sell on Amazon? A Te Fiti costume.

Te Fiti!

I have punked out on making the kids’ costumes year after year because with everything else going on, it was just easier to outsource that shit. But this year, Maya’s heart was set on being the big green Te Fiti goddess. Luckily Ian, when quizzed repeatedly about his preferences, told me pretty much every single time that what he really wanted to be was a jack-o-lantern. That I could get off the shelf.

Jack-o-lantern!

I spent several weeks buying little bits and pieces of Maya’s costume here and there. A wig and face paint from Amazon. A green t-shirt and pants from primary.com. I poked around on Etsy looking for a flower crown, but in the end, I just bought supplies and made one. And then because I’m not an idiot, I made a second crown for Ian to be his pumpkin vines.

Maya’s is the white one. Ian’s is the “rainbow” one.

While all these supplies were collected, preparations were made for Halloween. The kids painted little pumpkins at school. We bought a few decorations from one of those pop-up Halloween stores as a reward for good behavior. Our home jack-o-lanterns were done in our traditional way where each kid chooses what they want on their pumpkin, Anna draws the design, I gut and carve, and Sean heroically lights the candle. Maya, oddly, chose the littler pumpkin and wanted just a straight up jack o lantern face like she had seen on the cover of one of her books. Ian wanted Dingle Tiger. Don’t know who Dingle Tiger is? To the rest of us, he’s Daniel Tiger, and he’s something of an offshoot of the Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood show we all probably watched when we were kids.

Dingle tiger and the old skool jack-o-lantern

We first got to debut the Te Fiti and jack-o-lantern costumes for the carnival at the kids’ school the Friday before Halloween. It was a cold evening for Texas, so we wound up putting a sweater over Te Fiti’s costume – it was pure luck that we had one that was kind of green. Ian, who loves to be pretty, had recently discovered Maya’s old orange tutu (seen here), and he insisted on wearing that to the carnival. I actually thought it worked really well, but in typical Ian fashion, he refused to wear it again.

Ready for the school carnival!

The kids walked around with a green tinge to their faces for a few days, and it was just wearing off when the big day arrived: trick or treat time! We got all dolled up and let Sean take some nice semi-controlled photos against a backdrop before heading out. Maya enacted several of Te Fiti’s best moments from the movie: gazing lovingly at a little Moana doll, throwing shade at a little Maui doll (he stole her heart, you know), folding herself up and turning into an island. Ian just pranced around hammed it up for the camera.

You mean, we just go to the door, and they give us candy? We’re in!

Maya and Ian had soooo much fun trick or treating. They took turns being the one who rang the doorbell. They said their trick-or-treats and thank yous with smiles and clear voices. Maya even left with a closing “see you next Halloween!” just to reinforce the fact that we are antisocial people who don’t see our neighbors but once a year. We closed out our evening with a visit to Anna’s to trick or treat there and let her see the kids’ costumes.

At the end of the day, the kids were left tired, sugared up, and with a faint green hue about their faces, but I think they’ll both tell you that they had a really good time and are already looking forward to next Halloween.

This past July, we arranged a family trip to Missouri and Alabama. Usually, we try and line up with a holiday to maximize our vacation. This time though, we aligned our trip with Sean’s high school reunion. I guess I need to go to extra Sean reunions since I’ve never gone to mine (if we even have one – I’m not sure I’ve ever been invited to one).

Are we there yet?

To save some money, we decided to drive this year. And since we had avoided so much expense on plane tickets and rental cars, we reasoned that the purchase of a second iPad so both kids could be entertained during something like 35 hours of car travel was well within budget. (Spoiler – the iPads were worth their weight on goooooold.)

I don’t recall anything eventful about our drive to Missouri. We arrived late with kids that were wired for sound and ready to play after their lengthy travel confinement. Grammy and Grandpa’s house has a whole room full of toys and a basement full of toys to boot, so the kids were able to run amok for a little while.

Collecting “sea shells”

The next day the kids’ cousins, aunts, and uncles all came over. We traveled by tractor-drawn wagon to a nearby creek to play for a while. The kids loved it! Maya in particular was all in once she discovered there were shells to collect. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen shells this large in a Missouri creek before, or even along the Mississippi. Maybe I just wasn’t looking hard enough.

Maya and Grandpa practicing their surprised faces

My parents had an adventure planned for us the next day. We all drove out toward Carbondale to see the Dungeons and Dragons Park. Maya and Ian weren’t super excited for another long car ride, but they loved the park. The grounds were well kept and there were sculptures all over the place. There was a giant dragon to climb on and a really great maze-like castle to get lost in. The kids ran and rand and ran. The adults sweated and sweated and sweated.

Sitting with Grammy

After that, we all drove over to Giant City State Park, and after a quick lunch, enjoyed a genuine hike in the wilderness. As I recall, Ian was wearing out by this point and needed a lot of carrying and piggy-backing. At the end of our hike, the kids played on a little playground for a while and the grown ups had a little rest before the long drive home.

Maya and Ian with Great Grandma. And no, they weren’t at their most cooperative.

Our last day in Missouri was for relaxing and visiting. We stopped in and saw Great Grandma Schmidt for a while in the morning. We saw a friend of mine from grade school and her daughter for a while in the afternoon. But mostly, we lolled around the house and the kids played.

The next day, we drove to Alabama. Before we left though, we had to deal with pants. Ian made it clear that he was particularly fond of a very cute pair of pajama pants he had found in the toy room closet a day or two before. They were purple with pink bows on them and the material was very soft. He called them his fancy pants. He had worn them most of the day before, to sleep that night, and did NOT want to return them the next day. Luckily, Grammy let him keep them. I can probably count on one hand the number of times he HASN’T slept in those pants since we left Missouri, and it’s been months now. He loves, loves, loves them.

Sliding with Pop (note the fanciness of Ian’s pants)

After what felt like a very short drive (7-8 hours instead of 13-14 for the trip from TX to MO), we arrived in Alabama with two kids ready to rock and roll. Lolli and Pop were prepared for that though and had already made plans to take us to Homewood Park and let Maya and Ian run out some energy. After a good run through the park, we went over to Magic City Sweet Ice for gelato.

Maya swinging with Lolli

A while back, Pop had mentioned to Maya that we might be able to take a canoe out on the lake during our visit. Little did he know that Maya, with her Moana fetish would latch onto that and keep it in mind no matter how hot it got. When we talked about our trip to see Lolli and Pop, Maya would immediately grin and remind us that they were taking her out in a canoe. Of course, they delivered. And that is how we found ourselves on a blistering hot day out at Oak Mountain State Park sitting like sweaty ducks out on the lake.

They are READY

Maya had a fine old time padding her canoe with Sean and Pop’s help. Lolli and Ian and I stuck with a more stable paddle boat. Ian kept hanging onto Lolli and I to keep us from falling out – ha! I think he enjoyed it, but it really was very hot, and bless him, he’s just a little more hesitant about things than his sister.

Making music with Lolli

The next day, we took Maya and Ian to the McWane Center. This was not their first time, but they do love it there. It’s a children’s museum / science center, and I’m not sure we’ve seen half of it. This time, one of the big draws was a giant piano they got to play on. Maya spent quite a while with Pop working on an animation project.

Maya and Pop

Sean and I can no longer remember which evening it happened, but we also went to the wonderful Homewood Pool and played for a while. Maya and Ian both love the pool and Lolli and Pop seem to love taking them. The kids hung out with their grandparents a lot at the pool, so Sean and I often found ourselves wandering around just to check in on them now and then. At one point, I walked over to the kid pool / splash pad area to see Maya midway through her run around-climb-slide circuit. I asked her how she was doing, and in a breathless voice she said, “Level 5 is hard!” and continued on her way. Perplexed, I watched for a while. Sure enough, Maya had devised a variety of ways to go down the slide, and each time she achieved one, she’d have to level up and do sometime different. I don’t remember any more what level 5 entailed, but apparently, it was tricky.

On our last full day in Alabama, we again mostly relaxed and got things ready for the looooong drive home. Sean and I went out to his reunion and Maya and Ian hung out with Lolli and Pop.

The drive home was again very long. I have to say though, having an iPad for each kid and a handful of activities made our drive more tolerable. The kids actually dealt with it really well. One thing we did learn is that they’re still really too little to eat in the car. Stopping to eat adds SOOOO much time to our trip, but it’s still imperative for now. All in all, the driving was ok, though we really (REALLY) don’t feel like repeating it any time soon. That said, I feel like this has opened the door for some longer road trips, so maybe we can work some of that in over the next year.

By now I should know that making vacation plans is a bit of a fool’s errand for us, but I do it anyway. We decided to take a weeklong Seattle vacation in late May and early June to coincide with this gaming competition Sean wanted to go to. I worked on setting up a trip that was fun for both grown ups and kids, lumping our activities geographically, and I was even starting to think through meals that might go with each of those locations. And then the next viral invasion hit our house.

Dis mah butt, Seattle!

Maybe a week before we were to leave, Maya got some kind of nasty congestion and coughing illness. She had started complaining about her ears, so we took her to the doctor. He sent us off with a prescription for antibiotics, and we thought we might have her feeling better before vacation. Then Sean got sick too, and he felt even more miserable than she seemed to.

The day we were to fly out to Seattle, Ian started sniffling and coughing. While he had more or less decided air travel was ok, he changed his mind when he spent most of the flight coughing and runny-nosed.

We arrived at a reasonable hour at our AirBNB house in Bothell. It was big enough that each kid had their own room, which was good since they spent our whole trip in various stages of illness. Ian’s favorite part of the house though was that the light switches were down where he could reach them. He went bonkers flipping lights on and off and on again. It finally drove me crazy enough that I asked him to stop. Apparently he slinkered back to the bedroom where Sean, unbeknownst to Ian, was resting. Sean tells me he muttered something like, “I’m gonna turn the light on. I’m not caring, Mommy’s caring.” Little turd.

Sick Dad went out and got us Burgermaster for our dinner. Sick everyone but me went to bed, and after a remarkably long day, I hauled my un-sick self over to the grocery store to stock up the fridge with breakfasts, snacks, and drinks.

Obligatory doughnut face shot.

The next day, even though 75% of us were sick, we managed to get up really early thanks to the time zone difference. We took our time getting out of the house, deciding that with two sick kids, we’d try to keep our outings small, but still try to make a vacation of it. Even though we had had breakfast, by 10 we were ravenous, so we had a “snack” at a local doughnut shop called Top Pot Doughnuts. I’d call it solid, but not out of this world. My favorite was the lemon iced old-fashioned doughnut. Maya seemed to like her chocolate doughnut with sprinkles. Ian, still not a fan of doughnuts, will actually only eat sprinkles.

Shortly before our vacation, Maya had watched the Moana movie and fell head over heels in love with it. It ousted long-running favorite Finding Dory, she loved it so much. Sean blew Maya’s mind when he bought the soundtrack for the movie so she could listen to the music whenever she wanted, even if she wasn’t able to watch it. Needless to say, Moana provided the soundtrack for our entire trip. By the end, even I could sing along with parts of it, and at that time, I hadn’t even managed to watch the whole movie.

It’s not hot here!

We spent a couple hours wandering around Volunteer Park gawking at ferns and towering evergreens and so many flowers in full bloom. We decided to climb up the stairs in the water tower, Ian even insisting on doing it himself. He made it probably 2/3 of the way up before I asked him if I could carry him since he was sick. No, he insisted he’d make it on his own. Maybe six or eight steps later, he said, “Mom, can you carry me? I’m sick.” Sure, buddy.

The view from the water tower was nice. The day was even clear enough that we got a nice look at Mt Rainier. We capped off our visit with some time on the playground, where Maya nearly made herself vomit on some kind of spinning ride.

We stopped at a gyro joint for a late lunch. I remember the food being good, but more than that, what sticks with me is how kind the people were with our restless and somewhat irritable children.

We met up with friends of ours from college that evening for dinner. Missy and Larry and their son Anthony braved illness and small children to hang out with us several times on our trip, and it was so much fun to catch up with them.

Again, with most of the family sick, we adopted an easy pace for our day. We got a late start and began our outing with lunch at Ivar’s. When Sean and I started thinking about this Seattle trip, that was his only real request. It’s fast food seafood, and it is delicious. Maya is oddly crazy about clams; however, while she plowed through some fried shrimp, she couldn’t have cared less about the fried clams we offered her.

All in the name of chocolate.

Our one scheduled outing for this day took place at Theo Chocolate. We could have done a straight up factory tour, but that wasn’t really an option with two small children. For kids in our age group, Theo offers a “chocolate story time.” They did their story time, complete with chocolate samples, and then we got a very succinct tour of the factor. All this was capped off with a wander through their store where there were mountains of samples to try. Sean and I enjoyed the whole thing. The kids enjoyed the chocolate and tolerated the tour. They kind of got a kick out of the hairnets, though.

Freemont troll

We squeezed in a quick visit to the Freemont Troll before heading home to crash. Maya seemed to have fun clambering over troll fingers and arms. Ian mostly just wanted to be held.

The next day, I was finally starting to get sick as well. I never managed to feel as bad as the rest of the family, but I certainly didn’t feel good.

We had decided to try something different with the kids during this trip. In poking around for interesting activities, I discovered that the Seattle Symphony at Benaroya Hall offered a children’s symphony. It was great! Before the concert, the kids got to wander around and play with different musical instruments. The show itself, billed as a Playdate with Brahms, was of manageable length and highly interactive. Maya seemed to really enjoy herself. Ian mostly just felt terrible.

We were planning to go ride the ferris wheel along the waterfront after that, but Ian wasn’t doing too well. Instead we decided to eat lunch and head back to the house. Lunch was at Ivar’s Acres of Clams restaurant, situated right along the water. We initially tried to eat outside since the weather was so incredible. It was sunny but not hot; we had forgotten that could happen. Maya was all for it, of course, but sad Ian just curled in on himself and tried to hide. To her credit, Maya didn’t pitch a fit about moving inside though. Instead she steadily inhaled an entire appetizer order of steamed clams in a light, coconut broth. Then she ate some of Ian’s chicken fingers to boot.

We gave up on this day, went back to the house, and let Ian have a good long nap. Once he got up, we took him to the nicest urgent care clinic I’ve ever been too. I’m not kidding. It was actually a borderline pleasant experience. The person who checked us in was also our nurse. The doctor was actually nice to Ian. They called us to follow up after the fact. Unfortunately, poor Ian had an infection in both ears. It’s no wonder he was having such a miserable day.

The next day was Sean’s gaming tournament, so the kids and I drove him down into the city and dropped him off. Ian, as if on a mission, slept the whole way there and the whole way back. By mid-morning though, both kids were in the back yard swinging on swings and collecting rocks and pine cones in colorful buckets.

On top of the lighthouse – Maya and Larry

We went up to meet Missy, Larry, and Anthony for lunch at a burger joint called Nick’s Jr. The burgers were solid; mine had gyro meat on it. Afterward, to allow Maya a bit of fun since she was feeling so much better than her brother, we went to Mukilteo Lighthouse Park. Maya bonded with Missy over sea creatures, rocks, and the beach. Ian clung to me like a tired little monkey. Both the kids climbed the little lighthouse, Ian flatly insisting on doing it himself.

We drove home after that to let Ian have a nap. You know how some kids, after a nap, wake up feeling refreshed and relaxed, a sleepy smile on their puffy faces? That was not Ian on this day. He woke up pissed off, and he let me hear about it the entire time we were getting ready, the entire time we were loading up, and the whole way into downtown. Luckily, he was so happy to see Sean that his mood did a near-perfect 180.

After a quick dinner, Missy, Larry, and Anthony came over to our Bothell house for a while to hang out. I was tired, but it was pleasant to just talk to other grown ups for a while after kid wrangling all day.

The next morning, Sean and Maya went out to fetch us Top Pot again. We tried to squeeze in a quick lunch before heading into the city at an Indian buffet. Normally the kids are into that sort of thing, but not today.

In the ferris wheel!

Our day picked up when we boarded the Seattle Great Wheel at Pier 57. The kids were of course fidgety while waiting in line, but once they were loaded into our capsule, they seemed to sincerely enjoy themselves, especially once they saw the seagulls and their poop atop the buildings we were towering over.

Switch, the giant pacific octopus

Seattle Aquarium was our next stop. It is meant to largely represent local habitats, and it was beautiful. The kids were able to touch sea urchins and anemones. You could even feel the anemones react to you and kind of brush their tentacles against your fingers, trying to figure out what they had gotten ahold of. We saw all manner of gorgeously presented sea life. Best of all, we saw two Giant Pacific octopuses named Switch and Tako. These two meandered around a two-column tank with a tunnel connecting the tunnels crossways. Switch, the female, was very active, her tentacles oozing around corners, suckers dominating the tank walls. She would occasionally propel herself across the tank, skin smoothed and tentacles extending behind her, landing in a bunched up heap amongst the rocks below or suctioning herself to the side of the tank. The male, Tako, mostly stayed huddled up in his particular corner of the tank, though we did get to see him unfurl and change color at feeding time.

That evening, we wandered up to Everett to see Missy, Larry, and Anthony again, and they fed us dinner! Maya and Missy toured their garden. Maya drove Anthony nuts with her endless talking while he was watching TV. Ian, much to his delight, got to clean off the countertop. All in all, it was a nice evening.

On our last full day in Seattle, we said eff it and went into full tourist mode. We pretty much just parked the car and spent the day at the Seattle Center. We started by taking the kids to the Pacific Science Center to let them run off some steam. They had a lot of fun making music and building large-scale carbon nanotubes, and trying to make giant bubbles.

Budding photographer

After a quick lunch and some dessert fudge at the Armory, we headed to the International Fountain. Maya and Ian LOVED IT. The weather was warm, but not blistering. They could run around and play in the water a bit. Maya (and most of the kids there) had a game where they’d run up and smack the fountain when it wasn’t squirting water and try to get away before it started back up again. Again and again, Maya did this. Bolstered by her success and because he wants to do anything his big sister does (she has the *best* ideas), Ian gave it a go. He crept up and touched the fountain. You all know where this is going – about the time he was ready to turn and run away, the water started back up, and he got soaked through and through. Now Maya would have laughed it off and used that as an excuse to give up on avoiding being splattered. Ian, however, was upset. Luckily, we had brought spare clothes (I figured they’d get wet on purpose), so we could make him comfortable again.

Did not make it out in time

Before our trip to Seattle, we had tried to prepare the kids a little bit for the different things we might get to see. It’s fun to see them get interested in what they might get to do. The thing that Maya really seemed to fixate on was the Space Needle. Every time she saw it as we were wandering around town, she pointed it out. You can imagine her excitement once we were actually able to go up in it. And then we got way, way up to the top. And about 30 seconds later, she was ready to go back down. We walked around and showed the kids Mount Rainier. We watched sea planes flying through the air. We saw giant buildings at eye level. Maybe they’re still a little too young to appreciate it. We did spend a long time in the gift shop in at the bottom, trying to let the kids select a souvenir. Ian left with a straw cup which, to this day, he refers to as his “skedaddle cup.”

On the way back to the car, we played for a while outside the Pacific Science Center again, mostly shooting things with water. The kids had a car nap on the way up north, and we met Missy, Larry, and Anthony for one last dinner.

Our travel back the next day was largely uneventful once we finally made onto our airplane. Thanks to unfavorable traffic and a small GPS whoopsie on my part, we were cutting it pretty close on getting the whole rental car, bag check, security line shuffle completed before our plane took off. But alas, we made home, back to the sweltering Texas heat.

Group selfie!

This vacation was hard but also great. Traveling with little kids is always a bit tough, but it was the illnesses that really made it grueling for us. Seattle was beautiful. We weren’t sure what to expect since it was early summer, but we had almost no rain while we were there, and compared to blistering Texas, the Seattle version of “hot” was just fine with us. We probably didn’t get to do half of what we wanted to do, and we certainly didn’t get to do any kind of deep dive on the local food scene. But, we meandered around at kid pace, and because we weren’t busy being tourists, we were able to spend lots of time visiting our friends. I think I’m going to call it a win.

Easter 2017 was a little rough for us. Maya had had a virus earlier in the year that had wreaked havoc on her intestinal tract (her doctor called it a “gastric insult”), and in an effort to help her damaged gut recover, we were avoiding sugar and dairy. The Easter bunny wasn’t allowed to bring any candy to our house.

We don’t wind up taking too many family photos.

Luckily, there were all sorts of things that stood in. Sean assembled Easter baskets full of non-edible goodies. Sean and the kids dyed eggs and left them out for the Easter bunny to hide. These were augmented with sea creature shaped plastic eggs filled with temporary tattoos from Lolli and Pop.

Cracking the cascarones on Daddy’s head!

And we also had cascarones. Sean picked a dozen pre-made ones up from HEB, our local grocery store. They are painted up all pretty like our hard-boiled ones, but the eggs themselves have been drained out, the shells dried, and then the remaining shells loaded with confetti. The kids LOVED them. They had a lot of fun whacking them over our heads, throwing the confetti around, making a mess of mom and dad. If memory serves (and honestly, who knows if it really does), this was Maya and Ian’s favorite part of the front yard egg hunt.

Maya could barely hang on to her kite!

We had one really great weekend where we took the kids kite flying at Zilker Park. Weather wise, and kite flying wise, things couldn’t have been more perfect. Maya in particular had a lot of fun flying her swank new Finding Dory kite. We ran into trouble on the potty front. Ian let me know that he needed to go, so I hauled him over to the porta-potties. He took one look at what he’d have to sit on (and more importantly, what lurked beneath) and promptly let me know that he didn’t have to go after all. So instead, I hoofed him all the way back to our parked car, where we were still smart enough to have the little potty seat. One time would have been fine, but he was still finding his footing on the toilet training front at the time, so I don’t know how many trips I made to take him to the bathroom in the back of the Prius. I missed most of the kite flying.

Mother’s Day!

I don’t recall us marking mother’s day or father’s day with much fanfare, but I do remember haranguing Sean into taking a photo with me and the kids. For both events, the kids had little breakfasts for us at their school where we were presented with little gifts from them. For mother’s day, they both brought home sprouted seeds, which we of course added to our backyard garden.

Guys, I’m on stage!!!

Maya had decided to try out dance class at her school starting in January. The focus of the company is on ballet and tap, and they come to the kids’ school to provide the lessons. In May they had a recital. If you had told me when I first got pregnant that my daughter would one day be wearing a pink leotard and tutu, I wouldn’t have believed you. But, over the course of parenthood, I’ve developed the habit of trying my best to let them be whoever they want to be. If that means a pink tutu, so be it.

While Maya seemed to enjoy her class and recital, she decided to try gymnastics instead this fall. About a month in, she said she wanted to go back to dance, so who knows. Four year olds are fickle.

Back in mid-March at the tail-end of spring break, we took Maya and Ian out for their annual bluebonnet photos. It just so happened that Grammy and Grandpa Schmidt were visiting at the same time. It’s a beautiful time of year to come to central Texas. The weather is warming up but not yet hot, all manner of wildflowers color highway medians and hillsides, and it’s still pretty cold in the Midwest, so it was a pleasant escape for my parents.

Maya, age 4 and Ian, age 2

The kids loved monopolizing their grandparents’ time. We didn’t get a long visit, but there was plenty of time spent combing the yard and filling Grandpa’s pockets with all manner of acorns, snail shells, and rocks. Ian had just spent his spring break week potty training, so he was obsessed with the bathroom, pestering all of us into taking him potty about 10 times for every one time he really needed to go.

Does this count as Maya’s first camping trip?

The fun thing Maya got to do over spring break was test out camping. Mind you, we just pitched the tent in the front yard, but she and I slept out there all night. She LOVED it and still talks about going camping again. We need to run the same test with Ian to see how he feels about it.

Gardening! (Ian doesn’t like to get his hands dirty, so it was really just me and Maya doing the planting.)

We also built our spring garden. This year is the longest it’s lasted. The kids and I start out with big ambitions about all the great produce we could grow, and as the heat sets in and our schedules get hectic and illnesses and/or job issues kick in, the garden gets neglected. This year it made it all the way to mid-summer. We actually had real lima bean pods on the plant. Maybe next year is our year.

Ian and Maya with Grammy and Grandpa

The evening before they drove back to Missouri, we took Grammy, Grandpa, and the kids out to Pizzeria Sorellina. It’s a beautiful place with some really interesting and well-made pizzas. We sat outside at a picnic table, sipped cocktails, and watched the sky darken. The kids ran around and ignored the grown-ups until dessert showed up. Ian visited the bathroom way too frequently.

I don’t remember a lot of the details of the visit anymore, but I do remember that we all enjoyed it. Maya and Ian love seeing their grandparents. Ian got to show off his new bathroom skills. My parents got to escape the cold for a couple of days. Sean and I could actually do a few things around the house without the kids immediately underfoot. Since we weren’t really able to go anywhere for spring break this year, it was nice to have family come to see us. (I’m not sure who we’re kidding. They totally came for the grandkids!)

“Bye, Pumpkin. I hope I remember you when you die.” That’s what I overheard from Maya this morning as she was petting the cat before school. We’ve done a few special things for Pumpkin over the past couple of days, and our ever more perceptive four year old has taken notice. We took Pumpkin outside to let her play in the yard. We tried to let her have some chicken from Maya’s sandwich. We gave her a bowl of milk to lap from when she finally stopped eating entirely. So this morning, when Sean told the kids to pet the cat before they left for school, which is not part of their normal routine, Maya put two and two together and drew the obvious conclusion.

Pumpkin

About a month ago, Sean felt like Pumpkin was getting thinner and took her to the vet for some blood work. It turns out that she had only lost a few ounces, and her test results were good, as the vet described, for a twelve year old cat. Initially, we accepted that and moved on. But since then, we’ve noticed a slowly decreasing level of interest in eating, a pattern of hiding herself away and sleeping, an increased definition to the bones of her hips, shoulders and back.

Given our history with cats and intestinal cancer, we asked to have an ultrasound. Because the ultrasound was anomalous, they did an x-ray as well. There was a large, presumably cancerous mass in her chest. At her age and in her condition, there was no treatment plan. She’d dropped a full pound of her weight in the month since we had taken her for blood work, and as anyone who’s met her knows, she’s a pretty tiny cat to begin with. After a couple days of “good bye” time, we took her in this morning to be euthanized.

The Pumpkinator

Pumpkin came to us about 11 years ago. Friends of ours had been taking care of this feisty little stray cat. She had to live in their garage due to a “personality conflict” with their resident cat. When they moved to a house with no air conditioning in the garage, they sent her to come live with us. At that point, I think she was cat number five at our place, and surprising no one, the “personality conflict” continued. She would hunch up into a little orange and black ball and emit growls of astonishing volume, given her small stature. If any cat came near her, she’d swat at them, claws bared, and crank up the intensity of her growl. We jokingly referring to her as Pumpkinator.

Over the years she grew to tolerate the other cats in the house. She was never going to be one to seek them out for company, but she would put up with them curling up with her for warmth. Outside cats were another thing entirely. If neighborhood cats came up on the porch, she’d be right back to growling and hissing, smacking at the windows and posturing.

Maybe if I ignore him, he’ll go away.

She maintained her Pumpkinator status right up to the end. At the vet, when they were trying to place the IV this morning, Pumpkin fought them like a champ. Our four pounds of not-eating, cancer-riddled cat had to be sedated just so they could get her ready to be put to sleep. We were told that she hadn’t taken the ultrasound earlier in the week lying down either. Is it weird that I’m kind of proud?

As much as she hated cats, she loved people. She was a talkative cat, and she regularly greeted visitors with long strings of plaintive meows. To my ear, it was more like she was saying the word “meow” instead of making a cat noise. Any available lap was fair game, but of course, it had to be on her terms. She would arrange herself as she pleased on your lap and allow you to pet her. When she was through being petted (but wanting to remain on your comfortable, warm legs), she bit you. Usually not too hard; just enough to let you know that you were done.

For all her fierceness, she had some odd fears. She was utterly terrified of the car. The racket she made when we had to drive her to or from the vet was incredible. The meows almost became screams. It sounded like we were driving an angry baby instead of a cat. Also, the poor thing hated thunderstorms. At the first crack of thunder, you would see Pumpkin slinker away, creeping low to find cover, a furry little soldier army-crawling across the living room floor to avoid the raindrops.

No cameras!

Pumpkin’s strangest apprehension though was of the camera. All Sean had to do was hold the camera up and she bolted. The actual click of the shutter would inspire full on panic. He has a hundred blurry photos of that cat as she avoided his lens over the years.

While her roar was mighty, Pumpkin was actually an oddly dainty cat. She didn’t care for having dirty paws. We had hoped she’d be a fearsome bug hunter, but nope. If they accidentally crawled near her, she’d back away and shaker her paws off in case any had gotten on her. She used her litter box faultlessly unless suffering one of the urinary tract infections she was prone to. Her property damage bill ranks far lower than any other cat we’ve had, including Hank who hasn’t even been here a year. She was never a great snuggler, preferring instead to curl up in a prim little ball on your lap to be quietly petted.

Any prudish behavior was set aside for poultry though, especially turkey. Pumpkin was crazy for the stuff. She seemed to have an aversion to people food, except for birds and whipped cream. One thanksgiving, we let her have her way with the turkey carcass after we had carved away most of the good stuff. She loved it. I think she might actually have removed someone’s finger had they tried to stop her.

Pumpkin also had a massive shoe fetish, demonstrating a particular fondness for well-worn leather. Barely had we removed our shoes before she was half in them, rubbing her face all over them to make them her own.

We used to leave our doors open and let the cats sleep on the bed with us if they so chose. When we had kids and sleep became a precious commodity, we started closing our door to try to preserve whatever rest we were afforded. Knowing her time was short and wanting to provide her what pleasure we could, we left the door open the night before last to let Pumpkin sleep in the bed if she wanted to. Before I even got there, she was in the bed chirping at me. As I crawled in, she carefully laid her old body down, close enough to be touching, but not really laying on me. She purred, loud and vital, and you could almost believe she wasn’t sick at all. She stayed there with us all night.

Maya frowns on purpose because she thinks it’s hilarious

It was a hard thing taking Pumpkin into the vet this morning. She’s been a vocal and loving presence in our lives her whole time with us. The kids adore her. Despite me repeatedly explaining to Ian that Pumpkin is dead, all gone, and never coming back, he asks when we’re bringing her home again. Maya, at bedtime this evening told me that she was sad about Pumpkin. “But, I want her,” she said. I let her know that we all feel the same way.

“Christmas in July” would have been a great title for this post … if I had managed to write it last month. Couldn’t even get it together to do that. I’m currently operating under the delusion that I’m catching up in time for the fall craziness that happens in our household (Halloween, Maya’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Sean’s birthday, Ian’s birthday, Christmas).

Cookies!

Luckily, I remember it like it was yesterday (no, I don’t). Christmas 2016 included a few bouts of cookie baking and decorating. It’s one of my favorite things to do with the kids in the kitchen. They help me make the dough, cut the cookies, and then, once they’re baked, they help me ice them and top them with sprinkles. We have fun going to the bake shop to augment our supply of cookie toppings (and cutters) periodically. The kids’ faces and fingers take on interesting colors as they sneak tastes of sugar balls, rainbow sprinkles, and sanding sugar.

We tried out a gingerbread house building workshop at the Thinkery this past year. Our family of four built a single house, and it was all we could do to keep the kids from eating all the candy decorations! Lucky for us, structural gingerbread isn’t super delicious, and even if it was, the wise folks at the Thinkery left us scraps to nibble on. We managed to get our dessert-based domicile home in one piece, and I remember it more or less lasting through most of our holiday festivities.

Ian was more interested in eating candy than decorating the house.

We did make it down to see the light show at Mozart’s again. It was later in the year and more crowded than we’ve seen it in the past. We didn’t even manage to make it into the place this time, and just watched from the outside.

We got to host Christmas at our house for Sean’s family. There were stocking to dig into, gifts to open, lots of food to eat. Sean got to make a sherbet-based punch for the kids in a punch bowl that had been handed down to him from his maternal grandmother, Mamaw Sharp. I think that’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to use it. He also made a grownup punch for the rest of us that was as potent as it was drinkable. Happy holidays, indeed!

Lolli and Pop!

We traveled up to see my family after Christmas. Thanks to booking very early and being uncharacteristically lucky, we managed to book a direct flight! Also, no vomit!! Both our families are always generous to a fault, so the kids made out like bandits. They love visiting Grammy and Grandpa’s house anyway. So many toys, so much undivided attention, so much chocolate milk!

Grammy and Grandpa’s house!

One of Maya’s favorite gifts was a little polaroid-type camera. Sean loves photography, so it’s no surprise he wants to nurture Maya’s interest. She had been watching an Amazon show called Tumble Leaf, and in it one of the characters has a film camera. She kept telling us she wanted a “rip it off” camera. Welp, now she has one. The subjects she chooses are always … interesting. Sean shows her how, but she lines up her own shots and snaps her own photos. She has a little photo book that at this point is nearly full of some pretty random, often beautifully framed photos. (Maybe we’ll try and post some of those photos later.)

Ian still loves the fact that we put up a Christmas tree for his birthday.