This year, after the long COVID-inflicted travel drought, we decided to maximize our vacation days by lining up our trips with holidays wherever we could. This has had the unfortunate side effect of increasing our travel costs, but those have (so far) been somewhat offset by the various airline credits we have left over from all the cancelled travel these past couple years.

Sunset at Mallory Square in Key West

We thought we were being smart. The kids’ last day of school was the 27th of May, right before Memorial Day weekend, so we booked flights for that evening at 6:45, thinking we’d have plenty of time to fetch kids from school and load up and head to the airport. Over the weeks leading up to our vacation, we’d been hearing horror stories about huge waits at our airport here in Austin. At one point, traffic was so congested that apparently people were abandoning their rental cars and just walking to the airport. Even our airline emailed us just before our flight warning us about delays at our airport and suggesting we’d need to arrive 3 hours before our flight.

And so it was that we wound up fetching our kids an hour early from school on their last day and hustling everyone down to the airport. We arrived about 3.5 hours early. We spent maybe 10 minutes getting our bags checked, and then it took only maybe 20-30 minutes to get through security. And then our flight was delayed by a half hour. We had some time to kill.

Our kids, who are now 7 and 9, handled traveling really well. They carried their own backpacks containing iPads, notebooks, and whatever loveys they couldn’t live without for a week. Maya no longer needs a booster, and for Ian, we just packed along the mi-fold for the rental car, so in that regard, our traveling was easier than it used to be. We did however pack along snorkel gear and beach towels for four people, so that took quite a bit of extra space.

We arrived in Miami late at night. The airport there is much larger than Austin’s so it took us a while to collect bags and make our way to the rental car place. And then we had to wait probably 45 minutes in line to pick up our reserved car. All told it was around 1:00 in the morning eastern time before we got our kids into bed.

Guess where we are?

Morning arrived before any of us were ready for it. Bleary-eyed, we belted down a quick hotel breakfast and hit the road for Everglades National Park. Our visit began at the Shark Valley visitor center. We had a morning reservation for a tram tour through this part of the park. Technically you can walk or bicycle over the path as well, but with free-roaming alligators, that didn’t seem like the option for us. Maybe we can try that when Ian grows beyond alligator-snack-sized.

American Alligator

Our tram tour was great! Us four tired people got to sit and relax in an open-air tram as we spent a couple hours being carted along the Everglades Loop, listening to a naturalist narrate what we were seeing as we went. The lady driving the bus was also a top-notch wildlife spotter, and the family sitting behind us was full of bird enthusiasts! We had so many experts at our disposal! I am guilty of thinking of the Everglades as a swamp, but it’s actually a very wide, very slow-moving river. The diversity of wildlife, both seen and unseen is impressive, and the ecosystem is unique.

The kids enjoyed the trip. I was worried they’d be fussed about the long ride, but we saw so many creatures, and they were busy firing away with their cameras, I don’t think it occurred to them to be too bored. Halfway through, our tram stopped and let us out for a while to climb the observation tower and take a good long look at our surroundings. Everglades National Park is immense and largely flat as far as the eye can see.

Double-crested Cormorant!

Each year, the kids’ elementary school has what they call a MARE week. Each grade level gets a different marine ecosystem to study, and third grade studied the wetlands (it was a pure happy accident that we scheduled a wetlands vacation this year). Maya had just done a project on the Double-Crested Cormorant toward the end of school, and we were fortunate enough to get to see one in during our tour. They have the weirdest little blue eyes, and the poor one we saw was panting in the heat. Maya was ecstatic, and couldn’t wait to tell her teacher all about it.

We saw lots of American Alligators, so Ian was happy about that. He was hoping to spot the invasive Burmese Python, but if there were any out and about, we never saw them. He had carried his reptile and amphibian identification book along, but it’s a North American guide. Our naturalist told us that for Florida, we’d be better off with something that focused more on sub-tropical species.

Florida Soft-shelled Turtle

Here’s a very incomplete list of the other critters we saw: Florida Softshell Turtle, Yellow-bellied Slider, Wood Stork, Anhinga (spreading its wings out so they’d dry), Black-Crowned Night Heron (who we shouldn’t have seen at all since they’re nocturnal), Great Blue Heron, and a Florida Red-bellied Turtle.

After a very successful tram tour, we drove down to the Ernest F. Coe visitor center, catching a fast-food lunch en route. The kids checked out the exhibits, listened to animal sounds, and viewed birds through a “scope” as a recording explained what they were seeing. From there, we drove first to the Anhinga trail and took a walk there. That’s actually where we saw the Florida Red-bellied Turtle. It was a nice walk, albeit a very hot one. And we were fortunate to have seen the anhinga earlier during our tour, because we didn’t see any along the trail named for them. We also drove on to the Pa Hay Okee overlook trail. On the road between these two trails, we passed over Reef Pass, elevation 3 feet. Yeah, if three feet of elevation is noteworthy, this is not your park for mountain vistas.

Happy Anniversary!

With that, we decided we had seen enough of the Everglades for one trip, though of course the park is massive and we barely scratched the surface. We loaded up our sweaty carcasses and made the drive down to Key Largo. We got ourselves checked into our hotel and washed a few layers of sweat off before finding a place to eat for our anniversary. We settled on the Bayside Grille. It was close to our hotel, on the water, and the seafood and cocktail offerings hit the right buttons for our first Keys restaurant. The kids (and the adults) were all pretty tired by this point, so waiting for things like order taking and food delivery was a little tough, but otherwise it was pleasant enough. We tried to hustle back so the kids could get some pool time before bed, but we only managed to play a little while before lightning cut our visit short. The kids were a little disappointed, but between abject tiredness and the promise of more pool time the next day, they crashed with little protest.

The next day started with a lovely breakfast at Harriette’s Restaurant. We ordered what I’d call regular breakfast food here: bacon and eggs and that kind of thing. But we noticed our breakfasts all came with muffins, and there was even a separate muffin menu full of interesting flavors. Evidently the local specialty is (go figure) a Key Lime Pie muffin. I chose a guava and cream muffin. Maya and Ian chose orange blossom muffins. They were all absolutely delicious and maybe a little larger than I was really up for eating. Our kids couldn’t even finish all of theirs, which is a rarity for them. We loved the muffins so much, we placed a to-go order for another muffin apiece for later on.

Check out my feet!

On the docket for today was our Big Deal vacation experience. We were going to be swimming with dolphins that afternoon at Theater of the Sea. Sean had apparently been wanting to swim with dolphins for ages, and the kids are both old enough now that they would be allowed to take part. Even though the cost was a bit on the eye-popping side, we went for it. As I’ve said in previous posts, it’s hard for me to resist an opportunity to interact with any animal I might otherwise never encounter.

Our dolphin swim wasn’t till the afternoon, so even after a full breakfast and a 15-20 minute drive south to Islamorada (pronounced EYE-lamorada, not EES-lamorada), we still had a few hours to see the what else Theater of the Sea had to offer. The way they arrange their shows is to have only one show going on at a time, and when that one’s over, they kindly point you in the direction of the next one. The circuit of shows runs a few times a day, so you have ample opportunity to see everything you might want to see. We didn’t have to make choices and it felt very relaxed.

We arrived just as the parrot show was kicking off. Maya loves ALL THE BIRDS, but she is particularly fond of cockatoos. One of the birds in the show was a Moluccan Cockatoo. We also got to see what I think was a Military Macaw show off his zygodactyl feet (two toes forward, two toes back – woodpeckers evidently share this trait). We watched a Blue and Yellow Macaw demonstrate his ability to recycle a plastic bottle and do some basic addition and subtraction. The birds were beautiful and Maya and Ian were both highly entertained. They even got to have their photo taken on the way out with Oscar – one of the blue and yellow macaws.

Biiiiig jump

We were next directed to the dolphin show. Here we got to watch two Atlantic bottle nose dolphins named Sherman and Kimbit perform all manner of tricks, ranging from the silly to the breathtaking. These creatures demonstrate amazing physical strength and remarkable muscle control. They launch their trainers’ high above the water in epic pushes and lifts. They make it look easy when they jump up through one ring on the water, arc, and then come back through another ring floating next to it. They “walk” upright on their tails across the water. Their vocalizations were fascinating as well. They showed us two (that I can remember), one that sounded very much like a child crying and another that had the clicky sound of an angler reeling in his or her catch.

After seeing all of this, I think the kids were REALLY excited about getting to swim with the dolphins. They may have gotten the wrong idea about which tricks they would be performing later on. They wanted to dive in and get tossed around in the air too! They also wanted to play with the toys with the dolphins. We had to reset expectations a little bit.

Jett the sea lion showing off his balancing skills

Our next stop was to see sea lions Bella and Jett. Poor Bella is a rescue sea lion who has a neurological condition that keeps her from being able to hold her head steady. However, that apparently doesn’t stop her from making friends in the sea lion world. Nor does it keep her from learning a few performance tricks of her own. Her friend Jett didn’t appear to be encumbered by any disability and was able to show us what a neuro-typical sea lion was capable of. He was able to balance a ball on his nose (using sensory feedback from his whiskers) while also balancing himself on his front flippers.

After the show, we took a very brief little bottomless boat ride (we were seated around an open center), during which one of the dolphins joined us in the open area in the center of the boat and showed us a couple of jumps and left many of us soaked to the skin.

Hyacinth Macaw

After the “tour” on the boat, we wandered over to the other end of the park to watch the stingrays and nurse sharks get fed. The walk over was nice – we got to see all the pretty parrots hanging out in a non-show environment. Sean fell in love with a beautiful deep-blue Hyacinth Macaw. As we walked, we checked out the fish, turtle, and alligator residents before arriving at the feeding area.

At midday in the full sun, it wasn’t as pleasant to watch the stingray and shark feeding as it had been to see some of the other shows. My favorite part was the Snowy Egret who was hanging around the cooler of food used to feed the sharks. Apparently he visits regularly hoping for some food, and the employees have named him Willie.

Willie’s trying to steal the sharks’ treats. Seems unwise.

After a stop to cool off and have some drinks, it was time to get swim-suited and sunscreened up (reef safe sunscreen only, please) so we could get in the water with the dolphins. There were six participants in total, so it was definitely not a crowded affair. I don’t know if it was the promise of fishy snacks or if they genuinely enjoy playing with people, but our pair of dolphins kept swimming near the dock, seeming eager for us to get in the water!

Woodses and Krystle

Our family of four went out together to meet our dolphin friends, Krystle and Trooper. Krystle was about eight years old (if I’m remembering correctly) and Trooper is her son. He’s was only ten months old and still learning the ropes, but he seemed so excited to be playing along. They started by swimming past us, letting us pet them as they skimmed along. We received some very splashy flipper waves, and then Krystle sort of posed in front of us, so we could get a photo with her.

Maya’s kiss from Krystle

After that, we went out in pairs. Maya and I went out together. We had a pose where it sort of looked like we were dancing with Krystle and Trooper, and we received some very sweet, if forceful, kisses from the dolphins. Maya struggles some with impulse control, and her hands kept finding their way to the dolphins when they weren’t supposed to. In situations like this, we shouldn’t forget that we’re in the water with large animals who would be more than capable of hurting us if they chose to do so. We also can’t forget that these dolphins don’t need any damage, however unintentional, from human hands. And so it was that I kind of had to hold Maya’s arms while she received her dolphin kiss, lest she forget and touch its face.

Ian’s kiss from Krystle

Sean and Ian did all these same things during their turn. He received his kiss from baby Trooper, who apparently doesn’t linger when he gives out kisses. The trainer was really nice about it though and asked Ian if that was too short of a kiss. After he emphatically agreed that it was waaaay too short, mom Krystle came out to kiss him properly.

We each got to swim the circumference of the little lagoon area with the dolphins. This time Ian and I went together. Ian kept telling me how much he loved it, but then at the same time, he kept racing forward like a little speed demon. I tried to get him to slow down a little and enjoy the experience.

Dancing with dolphins

The last thing we got to do was either a foot push or a dorsal tow. Ian, Maya, and Sean all went for the foot pushes. The trick is to hold your body as straight as you can, and look in the direction you want to go. The dolphins each push a foot and propel you forward through the water. Sean commented on the immense power he felt behind him as he was pushed. Sean and I both worried it would be scary for Ian and we tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted, and I’m so glad he did. As he made it to shore, he gleefully yelled, “I did it!” as he climbed out of the water.

I was not comfortable with the foot pushing situation and so I chose to hang onto Krystle’s dorsal fin and let her haul me in that way instead. And Sean is right, the sheer strength of that dolphin is astonishing to feel. It was all I could do to hang on!

More dancing with dolphins

As we were leaving, the dolphin trainer thanked us for being dolphin playthings. Everyone loved the experience. The kids will tell you that swimming with Krystle and Trooper was their very favorite part of our vacation. And Sean and I wholeheartedly agree.

My weather app had been predicting rain all day long, but thus far, all we had had was relentless sun. As we were getting out of our dolphin swim though, it looked like the skies were ready to open up. We hastily showered the salt water off of us, changed into dry clothes, and hurried to the car. We drove to lunch in a fairly heavy downpour.

Local beers

We went to Keys Bite for lunch. All of us had interesting beers or sodas and a fried seafood basket. This was the lunch during which Ian discovered he liked fried mahi-mahi. During our whole trip, he was never quite committed enough to order that instead of his usual chicken fingers, but if anyone else happened to order it, he was happy to have some of theirs.

Maya, being Maya

After putting the kids off and getting thunderstormed out the night before, we let the kids have all the pool time they wanted. Sean and I hung out and sipped local beers while the kids played and played and played.

Ian has gotten over any apprehension he has about the pool – as long as it’s warm enough

Finally, on Monday, Memorial Day, we relaxed. We slept in and moved at a leisurely pace for the first morning since our vacation started. The kids are older now and seemingly more tolerant of some mealtime flexibility. Because of that, we had been experiencing a paradigm shift in our meal consumption. Our normal three-meal day had shifted to a two-meal with maybe some snacking here and there. Think late breakfast, early dinner, and maybe a snack midday or evening.

Lobster and grits at Ms Mac’s

Anyhow, we rolled in for a late breakfast at the original Mrs. Mac’s Kitchen. The grownups had lobster and grits (which I highly recommend) and mimosas to start our day. Ian had waffles and Maya had French toast and they both had bacon. It was a delightful breakfast! The food was really good and the waitstaff were all so friendly. The place looked kitschy-cute and felt dive-bar comfortable.

In the interest of being laid back, we then spent a while playing at our hotel beach and our hotel pool before packing up for that day’s adventure – a snorkel trip at Pennekamp State Park. We decided to go with Sundiver Snorkeling Tours, and thought their service was solid. Communication was clear. They were helpful in teaching beginners how to operate their equipment. And in the end, we had a nice, safe time on the water.

The Florida Reef is the third largest coral barrier reef in the world

Maya especially was exited about this one. “You mean we’re going to take a boat out into the ocean? And then we’re gonna jump of the boat and snorkel???!!!!” She was thrilled at the prospect. She was maybe less thrilled with the execution. Drive to the place to check in. Drive to another place to meet the boat. Ride the boat for a half hour. Futz with adjusting snorkels, vests, and fins, and then swim away from the boat a ways before finally, FINALLY getting to the coral reef. I also think Maya may have been slightly seasick. Once the kids were out there though, I think they really enjoyed it. They have cameras that are able to be taken into the water, and they both seemed to enjoy paddling around trying to snap photos of fish and pretty coral.

Ian did a great job, but he got really tired of tasting salt water

My only frustration was how crowded it all felt. I was constantly either avoiding flippers or checking for the kids, and so it was hard to just relax and enjoy the experience. On a next snorkel trip, I might look into how much more it would cost to be part of either a smaller group or a charter. Frustration aside though, it really was beautiful around the reef. The corals themselves were colorful and texturally varied. Fish in bright silvers, blues, yellows, and blacks darted around them, and if I could have relaxed, tranquil is how I’d have described it.

It started raining toward the end of our time in the water. Ian had been begging to go back to the boat, and of course it was Mom, not Dad, that he was begging. Eventually I gave in and helped Ian and Maya back to the boat. The captain had kindly pulled our bags in out of the rain, so we had a nice dry towels to wrap the kids in. They shared a soda to get the salt water taste out of their mouths and then shivered as we zipped back to shore.

Trying to behave at Blackwater Siren

For late lunch / early dinner, we tried out a joint called Blackwater Siren. They aren’t fancy, and we couldn’t find a direct website, but none of that mattered. Service was efficient and the food and drinks were so good. Everyone, including Ian, ate our calamari starter. I had the best dish – blackened grouper w jalapeño tartar sauce. Sean had the best drink – he’s a mojito guy, and apparently they make a really good one.

The kids had been getting pretty brave about visiting restrooms on their own on this trip. Ian, with his flowing blonde hair, occasionally gets side-eye and even openly questioned about whether he has gone into the right bathroom. We have coached him over and over again to not get angry – to calmly explain that he’s a boy and move on. Well, he came back from the bathroom at Blackwater Siren all excited because he was asked if he was a girl. He explained to us that he told them he was a boy and that he liked his long hair. He said that the guys then told him that when they were younger they had hair “down to here” as Ian gestured wildly at his waist. Our server overheard him relaying this story, chuckled, and said she had just heard the exact same story from the fellas over at the bar.

Relaxing at the beach

We made it back to our hotel in time to watch the sunset. The kids played in the pool for a while as mom and dad stretched out on beach chairs, drank beers, and watched them play. (Have I told you how incredible it is that we no longer have to get in the water with them if we don’t want to? They are pretty good at taking care of themselves in the pool at this point.)

Sunset

The next day, we made the drive from Key Largo to Key West. After showering and packing, we headed to The Hideout for our late breakfast / early lunch. Everyone’s food was really good, don’t let me tell you otherwise, but I did learn a sad truth. While lobster and grits is much like shrimp and grits in that there is a lovely tomatoey sauce and the grits are often cheesy. Fish and grits, at least at The Hideout, was just a piece of fish and a side of grits, and I know I disappoint my southern spouse every time I say this, but I am not a fan of grits on their own.

On our way out of Key Largo, we stopped at Harriette’s to pick up yet another batch of muffins to enjoy later on. As Sean was leaving with our takeout muffins, the Harriette’s check-out person told him that they hoped we wouldn’t see too much rain from the hurricane. What? We really hadn’t been keeping an eye on the news or the weather, but we were now! Sure enough, there was a weather pattern heading our way that was set to make landfall as a tropical storm or tropical depression later in the week.

We traded photo-taking responsibilities with another family. Apparently I didn’t get the memo on the tie-dye.

We continued down the Overseas Highway / US Hwy 1 to Islamorada to the Rain Barrel Village to do some souvenir shopping. We were greeted by Betsy, a 30-foot tall, 40-foot long sculpture of a Florida Keys Spiny Lobster. After having our photo taken with that crazy thing, we wandered through a few of the shops in the village.

We drove straight through the rest of the way to Key West. It was an interesting drive. If you look at that string of islands / keys off the southern end of Florida, that’s what we were driving along. We hopped from island to island, some large enough to support small towns and plenty of tourism, others not much larger than the roadway. Following alongside us was the old railroad that used provide the only overland access to Key West, until a hurricane demolished it in 1935. It was apparently the nation’s first recorded category 5 hurricane.

This is Fred the Tree. I happened to notice him marked in Google maps. He’s growing out of the old Seven Mile Bridge. There’s no soil! He survived Hurricane Irma! And they even decorate him at Christmas time.

It was overcast as we drove, and while it was a lovely drive regardless, I expect that if the sun had shone, we’d have seen more turquoise in the seawater sprawling to either side of us. To our kids’ intense irritation, we made them put their iPads down and look around for a while. I wanted them to see the 7-mile bridge and the vastly different landscape around us.

We drove into and through Key West around mid-afternoon. It’s a tiny island, and I’m just astonished how much they manage to cram into it. We drove along the northern side of the island along the ocean and pulled into one of our hotels few parking spots right around check in time. This would be the last time we drove our car till it was time to leave the island. We wasted no time getting settled in and letting the kids play in the pool while Mom and Dad lounged around enjoying happy hour pain killers (the cocktails, not the over-prescribed opioids).

Pool!

Once Maya and Ian swam out some of their long-car-ride energy, we meandered through town to a restaurant called Kaya for dinner. The jerk chicken appetizer was absolutely incredible. I would have been quite happy to eat it for dinner. The kids shares some fried mahi-mahi. Sean had rasta pasta, and I had a fish sandwich.

It was all done really well, but the thing that provided the most entertainment value were the drinks. Sean and I had really excellent Mai Tais, which we hadn’t even planned on ordering since they’re made with Rhumbero (some kinda flavored wine product) rather than proper rum. But when offered a sample, who can refuse, and I’m maybe slightly ashamed to say that these drinks were delicious! They also brought water that had sliced up lemons and limes in it. The kids spent an enjoyable several minutes mashing different citrus and mint leaves and fruit from Sean’s and my drinks to create their own mocktails. They had me jot down notes in my phone about how they constructed their drinks so they could add the recipes to their notebooks later.

Mai Tais!

We walked from the restaurant down to Mallory Square in time to watch the sun set and see a little of the action around the square. The kids made friends with a wire artist named Ryan who discussed what sorts of sculptures he could produce and in various price ranges. Maya had visions of an octopus with a hummingbird flying around it and Ryan didn’t even bat an eye, urging her to be more and more daring and creative. We left so Maya could ponder whether this was truly going to be her souvenir or whether she might find something else she wanted more at all the places we would be going.

Since we were worried about the incoming tropical storm, we tried to cram as much into the next day (Wednesday) as we could. We were up bright and early to grab breakfast from Old Town Bakery. We had learned before we ever left Texas that Key West had a traffic problem – or more specifically, a parking problem. And so, we looked into our mass transit options. Turns out, there’s a free bus loop – the Duval Loop – that passes within reasonable walking distance of just about everything we were interested in visiting. And there was a pickup spot basically right across the street from our hotel (we stayed at Eden House, and loved it – comfortable, unpretentious, had a pool, had parking).

End of the road

We wanted to head toward Hemingway museum, but it is a cash-only establishment, so first we had to hit an ATM. This turned into a 45-minute ordeal during which we hit two different locations and called the bank multiple times. The kids were pretty antsy through all this, but they held it together pretty well, all told. Cash in hand (finally), we stopped by for obligatory photos at US Hwy 1 mile marker 0, either the beginning of the road or the end, depending on your point of view.

We made our way to the Hemingway Home and Museum, site of typewriters, taxidermy, and six-toed cats. When we were explaining about Ernest Hemingway to the kids, they were clearly of the mind that they would be tolerating this museum for our sake. And then they saw all the cats, many of whom were quite content to be petted by tourists.

So many toes!

Hemingway was apparently gifted with a six-toed cat called Snow White by a ship’s captain, and at least some of the cats that live at the property now are descendants of Snow White. Many of the resident cats are polydactyl (meaning they have extra toes) and some are not. All of them look to be at peace with their well-traveled, tropical surroundings. The cats even have their own little miniature Hemingway Home to sleep in and a vet comes and looks after them regularly.

Hemingway’s writing studio

Hemingway lived in this house from 1931 to 1939, and the house was interesting to look through as a period piece as well. The rooms are well appointed with furnishings Hemingway collected during his travels. The grounds themselves are lush with tropical growth. We tried to listen to the tour guide a bit, but our children were too disruptive. We attempted to read through the tour information as we went, but again, it was hard to keep an eye on the kids and read about what we were seeing. One of the plaques informed us that he wrote 70% of his works while living at Hemingway House – I’m guessing a strict write in the morning, rum in the afternoon regimen helped him to be this productive.

The kids are thrilled.

After we left Hemingway House, we made the obligatory stop to take a photo with the Southernmost Point buoy, which marks the southernmost point of the contiguous United States (90 miles to Cuba!). And much to Maya and Ian’s chagrin, we also had to wait in the obligatory line. Have I mentioned the Key West chickens yet? Some postulate that many residents used to keep backyard chickens but then got sick of them and let them loose. Others believe populations swelled when cockfighting became illegal. Regardless, all over Key West, we’d see random chickens strutting around. The locals apparently call them “gypsy chickens.” Sometimes a rooster or two, other times a hen and her chicks. In alleys, in yards, wandering around in front of bars and nightclubs. The kids LOVED them, but even the charm of random chicken-spotting wore off as they stood in that hot, boring line.

A chicken walks into a bar …

Eventually we got our touristy photos and meandered over to the Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory. This place was small, but really neat. The crowd impacted the serenity vibe some, but we could feel it nonetheless. There was greenery all around us, the sound of trickling water filled the air, and between butterflies and birds (and the odd turtle), brightly colored creatures provided endless movement and visual appeal. Maya was completely taken with the vivid tropical birds living there: Paradise Tanager, Orange Legged Honey Creeper, Australian Diamond Dove, and a poor rescue Turaco who had only one leg, but seemed to get on just fine regardless. We also saw the resident Flamingo couple, Rhett and Scarlett, fishing and preening in the water.

Atlas Moth

One of the coolest things we saw there were Atlas Moths. Just a couple days before, a friend had posted about them on Facebook, and I made a point of showing the photo to Ian because he’s a reptile guy and part of the Atlas Moth’s wingtips look astonishingly like snake heads. We had no idea what we’d see in the conservatory, but there were multiple Atlas Moths (and even a caterpillar), larger than life and equipped with the aforementioned snake head coloring. Ian was particularly good at spotting them and grew frustrated that I couldn’t always find what he was seeing.

Brown anole?

Speaking of Ian being a reptile guy … the variety of lizards we encountered in the Keys was amazing! We couldn’t identify all of them, but one prevalent type looked like it was tip-toeing across the sidewalks with its tail curled up. We had been calling them “the curly tailed lizards,” but it turns out, that’s actually what they are! Both Northern Curlytail Lizards and Red-sided Curlytail lizards, while not native, call Florida home. We saw a number of anoles. We saw a few red-headed lizards that may have been Common Agama. We managed to see only one iguana during our entire trip, though Ian was sure on the lookout for them. It seemed like everywhere we looked, a lizard was darting away from us.

The sun was still shining, so we hopped the Duval Loop bus line back to our hotel, changed into our swim clothes, and took the bus right out to Fort Zachary Taylor Park. We had read that you could snorkel near the shore here (unlike at Pennekamp where you had to take a boat a few miles out to get to the reef). But before that, we made our poor, mistreated kids walk through the historic grounds, which were quite interesting. There were cannons all around, and I think Ian at least had a passing interest in that.

Cannons at Ft Zachary Taylor

We then further delayed getting in the water by eating our customary late lunch / early dinner. We grabbed burgers and hot dogs at the Cayo Hueso Cafe and ate at a picnic table right there near the beach. And then finally, we got all snorkeled up and hopped into the water. Sean and Maya swam out to some rocks out a short distance from the shore and apparently the fish were plentiful and active there, but even near the shore, the water was clear and we could see colorful fish darting around beneath us. Eventually Ian grew sick of salt water and so he and I sat out on the shore a while. It started to look like it wanted to rain and we even saw a water spout, which is a little alarming. Almost as soon as we saw it, it was gone, so I wonder if it’s what the meteorologists would call a “fair weather waterspout.”

Nice snorkeling at Ft Zachary Taylor

Once Sean and Maya were done, we packed up and headed back to the hotel to drop off our gear and clean up a bit before heading back out to Mallory Square. Sean and I had tied a couple of key lime pies thus far on our trip, but we had not yet had frozen key lime pie … on a stick! A place called Kermit’s is where we picked up these crazy snacks. Sean went with the traditional flavor, but I chose strawberry key lime pie for mine. The kids weren’t sure they cared for key lime pie, and so they went for the standard ice cream at Häagen-Dazs next door.

Properly fueled, we visited our friend Ryan the wire artist so each kid could formally request their wackadoo creations. Maya stuck with her octopus with a hummingbird idea from earlier. Ian settled on a snake playing a guitar. They both turned out brilliantly, and they were packed well enough that they survived the trip back to Texas!

Maya and her wire art

Sean was hungry, so at the advice of Ryan, we swung by a trailer called Garbo’s, where he ordered some Korean barbecue tacos. They were huge! Ian and I got to eat some of them too, since Sean wasn’t really *that* hungry. The trailer was at the back of a bar, so we had to hustle and eat before they kicked us out so the rest of the crowd could be grown-ups in peace.

Ian’s wire art

The next day’s big event was going to be our kayak trip through the mangroves. Thanks to the incoming tropical storm, we were keeping an eye on the weather. It didn’t look like the rain would start till maybe noon or so, and our trip was at 10a, so we figured we might get a little wet toward the end of it – no big deal. We hustled the kids out to Old Town Bakery again for breakfast and started to gather our supplies for the trip. At around 9:30, just as we were finishing up our food, the kayak folks called to let us know they were cancelling the trip due to weather. Sigh. I’m sure they’re accounting for the unpredictability of weather patterns, but I felt comfortable enough that I’d have gone out, and I’d have taken the kids. From everything I had read, the storm wasn’t really supposed to pick up till Friday. Oh well.

The kids were disappointed too but got over it quickly when they got to spend extra time playing in the pool. This lasted until lunchtime, when we decided to go to Sloppy Joe’s bar. This place has history. Hemingway drank there; heck, he met one of his wives there. I was ambivalent about our mojitos, happy with our smoked fish dip, and thought the shrimp tacos were a bit of a joke. We did have live music, which was kind of fun. The singer and guitarist claimed he could turn anything into a Johnny Cash song. And then, bless his tortured heart, he proceeded to Johnny Cash-ify a little tune called “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-lot. I am forever changed.

Key West First Legal Rum Distillery

We stopped by a small operation called Key West First Legal Rum Distillery. This was a small operation. They allowed us and our children to take a brief but free tour of the distillery. While going through the tour, the adults were allowed to taste a tiny amount of the undiluted spirit. I wish I had jotted down the proof, but my brain is remembering 160 proof or so. The trick is to take very small tastes, let it evaporate on your tongue. The raw spirit isn’t harsh at all, if you’re careful. It’s light as air (well, nearly) and almost buttery. After the tour, we tried a few of their bottled rums, and the ones we tried were fantastic. One of their rums is called Bad Bitch, and Maya was supremely unimpressed that we wouldn’t let her buy a hat emblazoned with that name.

Picking Papa’s nose at Papa’s Pilar

We had seen and enjoyed the scrappy upstart. Now it was time to visit the corporate rum – Papa’s Pilar. Obviously they’re trading on the Hemingway name here. Their facility was sprawling, interior designed and well-lit, and for all the reasons anyone with a bit of a subversive streak might have, we didn’t want to like them. But, here’s the thing – their rums are really good. The drinks they made for us were spectacular. The bartender even did us a solid and made mocktails for the kids. We left Florida with a bottle from each place, and I’m happy we did so. Hopefully there continues to be a place for both businesses on the island.

Bookstore dog

From there, we wandered (slightly drunkenly) to a bookstore so I could browse for local cookbooks. The man at the shop had his dog behind the counter so Ian was thrilled, and I think the doggo was pretty happy with the extra attention. We each left with a book. We got to visit with a sweet dog and his very helpful human. And said human, after overhearing us poking through cookbooks for smoked fish dip recipes, pointed us to a nearby grocery store and instructed us to buy a container of Smilin’ Bob’s Original Smoked Fish Dip.

Smoked fish dip from the grocery store – so good!

We went back to our hotel and hit the pool. Did I mention that it hadn’t started raining yet? By this point it was happy hour, so while the kids swam, we had drinks and smoked fish dip and crackers. After a while, we got the idea that we should be responsible adults and feed our children dinner. We took a bus ride and a rainy walk to El Siboney for some Cuban food. We had brought ponchos, and they worked really well, except that we discovered that Maya needs to be in a grown up sized one at this point – she’s just so tall! We had a lovely dinner, and after a rainy walk back to our hotel, we crashed hard and fast.

We didn’t let the rain stop us

Then it was time to pack up. We had breakfast at Azur Restaurant, where we all ate entirely too much food and regretted it not at all. Maya’s French toast dish actually included a slice of key lime pie. After loading up the car in the rain and checking out, we drove back around the north side of the island, stopping here and there to watch previously very calm seas (Maya was disappointed in the lack of waves crashing against her) crashing against and over barrier walls. Water that had appeared blue previously now looked brownish gray with churned up ocean floor. A crew was pumping standing water from the roadway down into a storm drain to help mitigate flooding.

The drive out was rainy and windy, but not alarmingly so. It seems the storm was more mild than originally anticipated. The real danger was flooding. We tried to stop and take photos of the old railroad in its state of interesting decay, but it was tough-going in the wind and rain. Further north in Tavernier, we did stop in at Blond Giraffe for Key Lime Pie. This was easily the best rendition of Key Lime Pie that we had during our trip.

Old railway

Our slow trek to Miami in the rain was uneventful. Once we arrived in the Miami area, it was interesting to drive through some of the swank neighborhoods and the not-so-swank neighborhoods. Several of the yards and roads were in some state of “flooded,” and we saw several partially submerged cars here and there.

We got to our hotel in the afternoon, and Ian was sad to find out that we probably wouldn’t be able to avail ourselves of the pool since it promised to rain during our whole stay. After relaxing for a bit, we again donned our ponchos and took a soggy walk to Old Greg’s Pizza. After an agonizingly long wait under a very drippy awning, we were treated to some truly delicious pizza. We had ordered just a pepperoni and basil pizza for the kids, but Sean and I had a side of hot spicy honey we could drizzle onto our slices. I strongly support this practice – so good!

First contestant for Most Inappropriate Souvenir

We had booked a hotel right in the city with hopes of walking around and playing tourist the next day. However, given the endless rain, we figured this was a poor choice, so we hatched a plan to spend the rainy day at Frost Science Museum instead. Most of it was indoors and there was parking and a restaurant on site, so it seemed like a good fallback plan.

We woke the next morning, ate breakfast, packed and checked out of our hotel. It wasn’t till we were in the car and working out the logistics of getting to the museum that we happened to notice they had closed for the day for the tropical storm. Sigh.

Second contestant for Most Inappropriate Souvenir

After a little more poking, we decided to kill some time by going to the movies. We took the kids to see Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, which they both seemed to like. After the movie was over, we wandered out of the theater to find that it was sunny out! We weren’t really in a good spot anymore to walk the city, but Sean drove us around for a while (wherever flooded streets and parking lots didn’t stop us) so we could take in the sites. When I think of big cities, for whatever reason Miami doesn’t pop into my head, but it is huge and heavily populated and the architectural variety is interesting to witness.

We were both worn out of planning and replanning. It didn’t help that we had received EAS alerts about the flooding in the area once an hour since around 4 in the morning, so our brains were a bit foggy. We eventually just stopped at a park to let the kids play for a while before the airport shuffle. We had booked a late flight home to give us a decent amount of time to explore the city, and of course, once we got to the airport, our flight was delayed again and again. Ian actually slept for a good amount of the flight home, but even with that we were so tired when we got in. And then one of our checked bags didn’t make it in. Luckily, after talking to the baggage agent, we learned that our bag was accounted for and still sitting in Miami. They would deliver it to us the next day (and they did). We were so happy to finally get home that evening, see our cats, sleep in our own beds.

The “exoskeleton building” in Miami (I guess it’s actually called One Thousand Museum)

We loved our Florida Keys vacation. We dreaded the forecast upon leaving Texas because it showed rain every single day. Except for those last couple days, if there was rain, it was a quick shower in the afternoon and then back to sunny skies. We had maybe a ten degree temperature swing during our whole trip – 75-85 degrees. Sure, it was hot in the afternoon sun, but we spent so much time in the water, that wasn’t too big of a factor (unlike the relentless 100 degree heat we’ve had in Texas since we’ve been back). The kids learned they loved snorkeling, swimming with dolphins, and eating fried mahimahi (ok, that one was more Ian than Maya). They learned that things don’t always go according to plan, that you have to adapt, and that you don’t have to let it ruin your fun. Food was more expensive than we were expecting, and while we enjoyed our meals, we might on a future trip elect to prepare a few more of them ourselves to help control costs. All in all though, we had an excellent family vacation.