On a whim, Sean picked up tickets from Costco to go to the Sherwood Forest Faire this spring. It runs for several weeks in March and April, so we managed to set aside the Sunday before Easter for our Renaissance faire needs.

Sherwood Forest Faire, 2019

2019 is Sherwood Forest Faire’s 10th year running, and they really seem to have their game down pat. We were able to print out a schedule ahead of time and pick through their 150 shows for things the kids might be into. We picked up a big map of the grounds on the way in and mapped out our path. As an added bonus, located in McDade, TX, the faire was only about a 45-minute drive away, so we didn’t have to worry quite as much about leaving early to get home in time for the kids to have a good night’s sleep.

After pouring buckets on Saturday, the Sunday morning we went was cool and sunny. Maya and Ian were immediately enthralled by the costumed figures we encountered. Dragons and forest creatures delighted them and the folks tolerated our kids’ exuberance well. They may have even encouraged it. We had barely walked into the place before they had touched a dragon egg, played with a crow, and petted a fox’s nose.

Lady Pan’s Puppet Show

We wandered slowly to Lady Pan’s puppet show, taking in the sights and sounds and smells. Maya and Ian played for a bit in the kids’ castle before we settled in for the puppet show. Toward the end of the show, the kids were invited to participate. Due to Maya’s repeated utterance of the word “octopus” as an answer to every question, they decided that what had formerly been the dragon’s tail was now going to be an octopus tentacle instead, and Maya got to wag it around. Ian decided to sit and pout about not wagging the tentacle instead of responding to the repeated calls for volunteers to work the other puppets.

Kookaburra

I worried that we wouldn’t have enough time to get between events, but we made it over to the Sky Kings Birds of Prey show with no problem. The kids were a bit fidgety, but they loved watching the birds zoom past as they flew from perch to perch. We saw a kookaburra and heard its crazy laughing call. I’m not sure I have my facts quite right at this point, but I think we also saw a Harris hawk, an owl, a vulture, and a falcon. It was a really neat show, and probably my favorite thing we did.

We made a quick lunch of chicken fingers for the kids and meat pies for the grown ups. I washed mine down with delicious cup of mead. The rest of them had genuine medieval sodas.

The kids getting knighted

Next, we scooted over to the Queens’ Bower for the Kids’ Knighting Ceremony. Luck was oddly with us: we accidentally got there right when the big parade from the Sherwood Castle was starting, so we were able to watch that for a bit too.

We confused the two queens a bit because Maya wanted to be a knight and defend the kingdom, preferably with sometime sharp and dangerous. Ian wanted to be a princess, preferably a faery princess, thank you very much. They were both awarded necklaces and sent out to protect the realm.

We brought our bloodthirsty children

Of course, to mount an adequate defense, Maya and Ian would need to be trained, so next it was off to the Children’s School of Sword. To cries of “Bring us your bloodthirsty children!” we arrived at a large, roped-in training ground. The Children’s School of Sword was an alarmingly popular activity, and it was with no small amount of apprehension that we watched our children lined up amongst the crowd and outfitted with wooden swords. They were warned to listen to their instructor, Herr Oskar Hasselhoff, or suffer his wrath, but that’s never motivated them before, so honestly we weren’t too sure what to expect. Maya gamely tried to practice her moves, but Ian mostly dug around in the dirt with the tip of his sword … that is, until it was time for the kids to thrust their swords and give a fearsome war cry. Then, his sweet little voice rang loud and clear as he thrust his wooden sword into some invisible foe.

Thus trained, we were ready to be armed. We had gotten Ian some faery wings earlier in the day, which he was very proud of, but we hadn’t gotten Maya her “one thing” yet. What Maya wanted most of all was a shield. She found a place that sold shields and swords and would cut us a price break if we bought the two together. She seemed so blissed out by the possibility that we went for it. Of course, then Ian was bent out of shape because Maya got *two* things and he only had *one* thing. We tried to explain to him that it was kind of a package deal. He scrunched up his face into a perfect pout and loudly declared, “I want a package deal!” We told him we’d think about it.

Faery Tea Party

We hadn’t really encountered a crowd all day long, but we found one waiting in line at the Faery Tea Party. The brilliantly painted and costumed faeries were beautiful and the kids were completely taken with them. I’m sure it didn’t hurt that between singing, dancing, and storytelling, the fae folk circled the crowd distributing snacks and a punch-like “tea” to all the kids. Earlier in our day when we were laying out where we would go and when, I had mentioned the Faery Tea Party, and Ian had asked if he was allowed to go to it to, worrying only girls could go. We quickly disabused him of this notion, explaining the tea party was for all the kids, not just girls. He smiled and followed his sister in to find a spot with all the others. I can’t help but wonder how long it will be before assurance from Mom and Dad isn’t enough to make him feel confident about his choices. Ian has told us that the tea party was his favorite part of the day. (Maya’s was sword school.)

Package deal

So that Ian could have his “package deal” as well, we took him back to the store where he had gotten his wings to see if he could find a “princess dress” to go with them. I was in charge of keeping Maya from hurting anyone with her newly acquired weaponry while Sean took Ian shopping. An older couple, dressed to the hilt (har har) in their ren faire best, caught her eye and she wandered up toward them. The gentleman was in his full knight regalia so Maya wanted to definitely check him out, considering out loud whether to engage him in battle. We chatted back and forth a bit and he addressed Maya as “him.” We don’t get too bothered about this. Maya has short hair, she likes blues and greens, and she was playing with things traditionally associated with boys. I chuckled and explained that she was a crazy girl, and I had to be careful she didn’t hurt anyone with her sword. The wife patted my arm and explained that she had caught that Maya was a girl. The older man went on and on about how when he was younger the men grew their hair so long, you just couldn’t tell which was which. And the lady told me kind of under her breath something about politically correct bullshit making things very confusing for kids. At that moment, I had to stop Maya from impaling a musician with her sword so I was a little distracted, but I was kind of caught off guard. I thought about addressing it head on and explaining that those things don’t bother us and we try to let the kids be who they are, whatever that means. But then it seemed like a wasted effort. Instead I said we had to go help Maya’s brother pick out a dress, thanked them for their indulgence of my daughter and her sword-play, and walked away. The kids will be paying more and more attention to how we handle those things though, so I should probably think through my approach. With our kids, I’m certain that won’t be the last time we hear about it.

I love the fellow in the background. So many people really get into character for the Faire.

The only thing left on our ren faire to-do list was to get our giant turkey leg fix. Sean waited in line for quite a while, this being critical to many other folks’ ren faire experience as well. He snapped his photos of the kids taking bites of the big drumstick. Then I peeled off some chunks so the kids could share more easily. They devoured it. Barring a few tastes from the grown-ups, those two laid waste to an entire turkey leg.

Trying not to get turkey fat on his new dress.

On the way home that evening, Maya described it as a one-day vacation. They sometimes dress up and play “kings and queens,” and Maya has even been gracious enough to let fairy princess Ian wield her sword from time to time. Maya has repeatedly asked to have more “knight clothes” to complete her ensemble, and both kids would like to go to the faire again next year.